User:Timmy Thyme/Inwood Hill Park/Alfielevitski Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Timmy Thyme


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Timmy%20Thyme/Inwood_Hill_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Inwood Hill Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead section reflects what kind of content the group plans to add to the article. The introductory sentence concisely summarizes the topic of the article. After reading the lead I am assuming that the group chose Flora and/or Fauna as their topic for this project. It is interesting that the group chose to explore both predation and economic impact. The two themes seem to be quite different, so I am curious to see how they will link the two topics.

Content

The current draft consists of the Economic Impact section and References section. It was unclear to me how exactly the information in the Economic Impact section relates to the theme of Flora and Fauna. This section could be improved by adding specific details regarding the connection between funding, financial stability, and Flora and Fauna.

Tone and Balance

I felt that the tone of the Economic Impact section is not neutral (e.g. 'it is fortunate'). The discussion about funding cuts seems to paint NYC government in a negative light. The word choice could be changed to avoid bias.

Sources and References

Currently, none of the content is backed up by references. Statements added to Wikipedia should be supported by using the Cite feature. reference 2 should not be used because it is a Wikipedia page (not a reliable source).

Organization

In its current state, it is too early to judge the organization of the article. The group has created a new section with its own subheading, which reflects the topic they chose to cover.

Overall Impressions

Overall, this seems to be a very promising addition to the main article. With the addition of specific details that are supported by reliable sources, this section would offer a unique perspective on the chosen theme. I would advise this group to pay close attention to choice of words and to maintaining a neutral tone throughout their writing.