User:Tinosherwood/Hispanic Americans in World War II/Semaj Martin Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tinosherwood


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tinosherwood/Hispanic_Americans_in_World_War_II?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Hispanic Americans in World War II

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

What jobs were hispanics occupying that paid $2 per day? It may be good to include the exact sector of work since you stated white people were getting paid more in petroleum fields.

Instead of saying, "in his town", I would more specifically say "In this soldier's town" because it may be easier for the reader to be more clear on who you are referring to.

Another way that you could organize the second sentence in paragraph 2 is by first introducing and expanding on who Hector P. Garcia is and perhaps add a quote from him that would explain his stance on this incident. Then I would introduce Senator Lyndon B., and describe the measures that he attempted to take, but also his limitations.

I would also move the senator's quote a sentence or two earlier, when you first introduced him.

What is the significance of him being buried in Arlington National Cemetery? Is this a notable cemetery? Is this a cemetery specifically for men that have received honors? Was it desegregated?

In the last sentence in paragraph 3, are you saying that many Hispanic soldiers that fought in the war were inspired to participate in civil rights movements? Or are you saying that the injustices that became evident during the war and burials sparked an increase in activism in general?