User:Tjrxhp/Matilene Berryman/Cole Quade Peer Review

General info
Tjrxhp
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Tjrxhp/Matilene Berryman
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Matilene Berryman

Evaluate the drafted changes
Content: The content overall is relevant to the topic, with it adding details to professional areas of her life. The information may need to split up a little instead of leaving it all in one paragraph such as with the sentence "Berryman's appointment was a large part of her effort to uplift youth and minorities in the fields of oceanography and science, fields which she was passionate about." It could go with the 3rd paragraph. If the information is left as is the wording might need to be changed slightly to make it flow better. The first two sentences go together well but the last sentence seems a little strange to go with that information. Due to lower amount fo content I can't really provide many suggestions.

Tone/balance: The information that is there does seem to be in a neutral stance. None that are really blatent during reading at least.

Sources: The source that is used does appear to be good. I can't really tell that much about it just due to it being cut off but it does seem to be presented well. I don't really know the range with which information is avilable on this and with only one source I can't really recommend anything in that area.

Organization: Similar to the content section, I would split some of the information up instead of leaving it all in one paragraph without some rewording mainly on the last sentence. There are a few small grammar errors such as the period being out of the quotes in sentence 2. I would check for the capitalization on the start of your quote in sentence 2.