User:Tlaforge/Brown bear/Trouter123 Peer Review

Hibernation Physiology in Brown Bears

If scientists can understand the hibernation physiology of brown bears in how they stay healthy after 6 months of inactivity, putting a stop to human diseases such as kidney failure, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease may be of reach (Perry 1). A study conducted through the Scandinavian Brown Bear Research Project pinpointed certain proteins in the tissue of brown bears that either increased or decreased their expression depending on the time of the year. For instance, the plasma protein, SHBG was seen to have an increase in presence during the hibernation period of a brown bear. This finding puts into question if an increase in the plasma protein SHBG in humans could put a stop to diabetes or other human diseases that brown bears miraculously avoid while in hibernation (Fröbert 265).

In my Wikipedia article, I am planning on adding the paragraph I wrote under the topic in Wikipedia called “Relationships with humans”. The information that is currently under this topic talks about the negative interactions they have, but I believe my paragraph will shed light on the positive attributes brown bears could give to people once we learn more about the brown bear’s hibernation physiology. There are already 3 subtopics under “Relationships with humans,” so I am planning on adding another subtopic that will be listed first

The lead is good, shows how you are going to talk about the hibernation physiology in brown bears. Concise and to the point.

I would say the first sentence "If scientists can understand the hibernation physiology of brown bears in how they stay healthy after 6 months of inactivity, putting a stop to human diseases such as kidney failure, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease may be of reach (Perry 1)." needs some work. I don't understand the connection between the hibernation physiology and kidney failure. Perhaps an edit to "If scientists can understand how brown bears stay healthy after 6 months of inactivity during hibernation, they may be able to use this information to stop human diseases such as etc." Also in this sentence (Perry 1) is not appropriate, paragraph citation should be (Author year)

Content all seems to belong and is relevant to the topic of hibernation physiology. Content is backed by scientific citations. The content here will help the overall strength of this article by showing the merits of understanding bear hibernation physiology.

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