User:Tltuggle18/Crowd psychology/Jpow05 Peer Review

General info
(provide username) Tltuggle18
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Tltuggle18/Crowd psychology
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Crowd psychology

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

There are some good edits made in terms of grammatical errors. The author of the draft used articles within 10 years of their publish date, which is good to have information that is more up to date.

In the third paragraph, I believe more information regarding the Civil Rights Movement can be added on to explain the sentence of "Generally, researchers in crowd psychology have focused on the negative aspects of crowds, but not all crowds are volatile or negative in nature.". You can definitely find more articles online to explain more about this, which I believe could be a strong body paragraph for the article as the CRM is a very good example of a negative crowd that was not volatile or negative in nature or its meaning. You could use the history of that event to explain the effect of what it had on the crowd themselves, physically and psychologically.

Finally, if you wanted, you could add more pictures from different major crowd events and either have captions on them or even create another body paragraph explaining the crowd psychology behind it for the sake of the article. There is a lot of potential here, and I believe the author is doing well so far with the current draft of the article. :)

Thank you for your feedback! I've been having trouble with this assignment so this is well needed. TLT