User:Tmitfc/Magna Graecia/MetersNotMiles Peer Review

Lead

The paragraph where it says, "They also influenced the native peoples..." needs a proper citation throughout instead of just one at the very end of the paragraph. The introduction is not concise or clear and instead causes a more stressful read for the viewer. The long lists may want to be bulleted or formatted differently. The run-on sentences also add a level of confusion for the reader that makes it difficult to read and understand.

Content

Under the list of Greek poleis, some of the unknowns may want to be addressed. Beyond that, the Coinage section needs proper citation as it currently has none. Many sentences appear to be repetitive during the introduction and many following sections.

Tone and Balance

Aside from the UK vs US spellings of words, the wording is not biased. Due to many sentences or sentiments being repeated, I might say that some of the ideas are being overrepresented and taking up unnecessary space throughout the sections.

Sources and References

Some sources I found that may aid in your research are:


 * https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=fH32nSiCue0C&oi=fnd&pg=PA256&dq=magna+graecia&ots=MjdVDQGh0e&sig=DDgiF02xf_wN9dYP5seSkFI7ViE#v=onepage&q=magna%20graecia&f=false
 * https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=w3mbpy1GZLcC&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=magna+graecia&ots=u71B36E521&sig=EcftwfyOLN_IGKVVXFv--D_QXVw#v=onepage&q=magna%20graecia&f=false

Organization

Subgroups and subheadings need to be capitalized. Another note is that that 'colonisation' is the UK-English spelling. There are several points throughout the article that include UK-English spellings but the most obvious is 'colonisation.' It is not necessary to change the spelling but it is something to keep in mind if you'd like all your spellings to be in US-English dialect. It may aid with making the article appear as written by one person. Another thing to note is the excessive use of semi-colons.

Images and Media

The images and media already provided to you expand and aid a lot with your article. I would not change or add any images. However, the captions with the Historical Region photos might be formatted as a list instead of several sentences separated by a semi-colon as it would look much cleaner.

Overall Impressions

Overall, there may seem like a lot to do but if you maybe shorten your focus to even just one of the longer sections that may work better in your favour. The best course of action is definitely properly citing sentences and ideas others have written.

General info
Tmitfc
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Tmitfc/Magna Graecia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Magna Graecia