User:Todd Andrea/Gnosticism/StrawwberryShortcake Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Todd Andrea)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Todd%20Andrea/Gnosticism?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Gnosticism

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead is not being edited here. The author is editing other areas of the article.

Content


 * Content is relevant to the topic and is up to date. Areas of confusion were cut by the editor to ensure clarity.
 * Content is well delivered, with elaborated analysis that improves cohesion and readability.
 * The article does go into detail about a female gnostic representation, known as Sophia. It depicts both positive and negatives viewpoints of her existence.

Tone and Balance


 * Content is neutral. No negative or positive connotations or tone within the sandbox draft.
 * The demiurge is displayed negatively, however this may be more due to the negative representation that it reflects not necessarily the writing style of the draft.
 * The author mentions both representations and values of beings that are seen positively and negatively to ensure that the reader is not persuaded either way.

Sources and References


 * I do think that there could be more references in here, maybe just adding a reference to the end of a few sentences would help. There is great information in here, I would just add a few citations within the work itself to avoid being taken down.
 * All of the sources from the bibliography are up to date and good.
 * Sources accurately reflect the information found in the article.
 * The links work well, adding the links help add complexity of information and citations too. Great job

Organization


 * I can see where you are going with the organization and I think it will work effectively. Adding more info about specific individuals or beings helps add to the content and flow of the article. I'm sure you will clean it up before it is all done. Again, great job
 * This article has many sections, but focusing on one helps add depth to the paper, specifically about gender and materialism.
 * No spelling or grammatical errors.

Images or Media


 * Looking at the article, I can see a few images available. Maybe adding an image or two of depictions of gnostic beliefs through previous artworks made that we discussed in class could be helpful? Totally up to you.

Edited Existing Article

Overall


 * I love the analysis incorporations in this article to help with flow.
 * The original article is very long and extensive in information, your approach to editing single sections or themes within the article encapsulates the knowledge added and is well thought out.
 * I think focusing on specific themes will allow you to produce the best result
 * Great job!!