User:Tofu jail/Min Chung Sik/Poppyprint Peer Review

Hi Erin, first of all, I want to applaud you for having taken on such an underrepresented topic. I understand the difficulty of writing an article from scratch with limited sources. Perhaps because of this reason, I think the article needs to go through several rounds of revisions - in terms of content, organization, and writing. More importantly, your article currently does not meet the requirements when it comes to reliable sources. I am worried that you will not receive full credit because of this reasons. I have tried to speak to you repeatedly about this issue - if you do not do something about it, your final grade will be seriously affected. The article also does not clearly present Min Chung Sik's body of work and his position in the history of photography. I think you have all the ideas, but they are presented in vague language, preventing the reader from understanding what you mean (I am familiar with his body of work, but even I have a hard time understanding your current draft). Please take this issue more seriously and reach out to me or others who can help you as soon as possible.

Lead
=== Lead - the lead is too long and therefore does not meet the requirements of the "lead". Please review the sample Wikipedia page below and craft a 2-3 sentence lead about the artist. You could also provide the Korean spelling of his name and his year of birth in parentheses - Min Choong-sik (민충식, b. 1890) (or Chung Sik? Or Chung-sik? You need to decide on the spelling and stick to one throughout the article) === Dorothea Lange (<-use this as sample)

'''Organization: please reorganize so that the paragraph has a coherent structure. Since you are revising the "lead" much of this section could go into the main article body, perhaps under biography. Make sure you are providing proper citation to each sentence, and that you are linking any relevant existing Wikipedia pages.'''

Min Choong-Sik was part (one) of the earliest generation of Korean photographers in Korea. Prior to Min's generation, those who wished to study photographer (photography) had to study abroad, many in Japan. Besides the fact that he was born in 1890, not much is known about Min Choong-Sik's personal life. However, in 1910, he studied photography and graduated at the YMCA. In 1927, he became a founding member of the Gyeongseong Photographers' Association. Up until the late 1920s, he left many photographs based on the spirit of documentation, such as Yeondong Church, Shinsik Marriage, panoramic views of Seoul, and photographs of Mt. Geumgan. Overall, Min  is a notable artist  (was active) during the period from the 1920s to the 1940s. This was the period when Min Choong-Sik was active, was the time when artistic value was imposed on Korean photography (unclear - perhaps "photography was beginning to be seen as fine art?"), and it was the time when photographs containing the aesthetic point of view of the photographer appeared in the photographs itself, breaking away from the previous studio or landscape photos (more explanation here. What are they exactly breaking away from? How were the previous studio or landscape photographs different?). Korea's first photography exhibition was held in 1929, definitely ) <-do not use words like "definitely" so that you are maintaining neutrality) modernizing Korean photography. Thus, during this period, photography was reassessed became an opportunity to be reborn as fine art. Min served as a bridge between early modern photography (this term is confusing because we typically use "early modern" to denote the period from the 15th-18th centuries, before photography was invented) and modern photography with subjective '''interpretation. He''' also helped to lay the foundation for the creation and spread of artistic tendencies in photography based on this. Grammatical error: run-on sentence.

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/run-on-sentence-basics/

Article body
'''There is an old Korean proverb that says that a hundred words of description are not worth one viewing. Alas, because of a biased objectivity that may conceal ambiguity, photography is particularly vulnerable to manipulation in order to serve different agendas. (NOT neutral. Do not say alas!)''' Min Choong Sik's photographs were able to rebel against this ideal, by being able to portray Korean subjects as more human and unique during the period of Japanese Colonization.

The works of Min can be found in the early stages of Korean art photography, whilst breaking away from the norm of studio or landscape photos. As a pioneer (grammar: who is the pioneer? Where is the subject?), the article (what article???) refers to pictures of the Yeondong Church, panoramic views of Seoul, and photographs of Mount Geumgang as a bridge between early modern photography and modern photography (repetitive, and see my comments above) with subjective interpretation. Even though Min's photographs draw inspiration from Korean ink paintings from the Joseon dynasty, they are still deeply rooted in symbolic origins.

'''Min allows us to approach his work through an aesthetic point of view, allowing us to read the essence of 'still life' art (Unclear what you mean here, and does not seem to be neutral. Remember you are NOT assessing the artist's work) Min Choong-Sik experimented and expressed beauty through photography, when Korean culture was struggling with the flood of harsh colonialism and Western foreigners. Overall, his exhibition (what exhibition?) reflects Min’s artistic emotions and reactions to modernization, while living under a colonized country through the art of photography.'''

Lastly, Min Choong-Sik is known to have started the Korean Photography Association and his active years go against the status quo of abiding to Japanese propaganda (how is this related? Why are these two in the same sentence..? And because of the sentence structure, the meaning of the second part of the sentence is not clear). Min was able to reclaim the expressive power of photography to capture the Korean people and their true homeland. His experimentation with modern photography went beyond the confines of the norm to produce what was considered fine art photography. Additionally, by understanding Korean-ness (unclear), it is easier to question the notion of representation and how Western and Eastern thematics  (what do you mean by thematics?) blend together to underscore the performative aspects (what performative aspects? What do you mean? You need to clarify and explain) of the different photos. Min Choong Sik's progressive attitude stretched the development and power of photography, during a time when common subjects were usually Korean people and architecture (didn't his photographs also use Korean people and architeccture as subject matter?)

=== References - As the Wikipedia officer pointed out, sources #2 to #4 are NOT reliable sources and you should not be using these for your Wikipedia article. Remember that this is a policy set by Wikipedia and you need to meet the standards. It's concerning to see no changes after several reminders - I want to make sure that your article makes an important contribution to the history of Korean photography, but I am worried the lack of proper sources and not revising them would undermine your work, and it would be also difficult for me to give you full credit for your assignment. ===


 * 1) Sunglim Kim. “Is Seeing Believing? A Critical Analysis of Japanese Colonial Photographs of Korea.” Journal of Literature and Art Studies 7, no. 6 (2017). https://doi.org/10.17265/2159-5836/2017.06.010.
 * 2) “Pioneers of Modern Photography in Korea Part 1.” Neolook, 2006. https://neolook.com/archives/20060314d.
 * 3) Kwak, Myung-Woo. "Modern Korean Photographers." In 한국 근대사진과 현대사진의 만남 - Min Choong-Sik, Kang Woon-Gu, Hyun Il-Young, Ju Myung-Duk. Naver Blog, 2013. Last modified January 10, 2013. Accessed April 9, 2023. https://m.blog.naver.com
 * 4) Archive, Asia Art. “Camera Work Vol. 5 the Collection of Museum: The Portfolio of Korean Modern Photographers.” Search | Camera Work Vol. 5 The Collection of Museum: The Portfolio of Korean Modern Photographers | Asia Art Archive, 2006.
 * 5) Moon, Virginia, Min-gi Kang, Joan Kee, Kim Inhye, Kim Yisoon, Kwon Heangga, Mok Soohyun, and Nora Noh. The Space between: The Modern in Korean Art. Los Angeles (Calif.): Los Angeles County Museum of Art, 2022.

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