User:Tofubird/Greatest Edit War

This is a fictional story of a great edit war. Please contribute, and make sure your contributions actually align with the story.

Rules

 * No editing anything, you can only add on to it.
 * Make sure your contribution to the story makes sense to the story.
 * Nothing else, just go and have fun!

The Beginning
''The year is 2009 A.D. . www.en.wikipedia.org.... Edit war was starting'' Editor 1: Edit war has started! Getting to the talk page! Coins are round you idiot! Editor 2: No name calling, moron! Hacker: Hello there Gentlemen! Jimbo: Oh no! The hacker! Hacker: AYBBTU! Jimbo: This can't be! Editor 1: What's going on? Editor 2: I dont know you... Clerk: Please, no more name calling. Read WP:COOL, it's a guideline where-- ZAP! Hacker: I have banned you sucker! Jimbo: Get off the systems before I sue you with my... BAN! Hacker: Now that he is gone, I am now the ruler of all wikipedia!!! Editor 1: GASP! Quickly, we must escape! Into the SUVs!!!! Editor 2: Don't drive at break neck speed, damnit! Editor 1: I'm sorry #$%&@, I have a fast internet connection! TO THE MAIN PAGE!! Editor 2: Downloading main page... Hacker: I am sorry, gentlemen, Wikipedia is mine now! Every article is under my control! MWAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAaahahahahahah!!!!!!!!11111oneoneoneone Editor 1: Quick, we must tell Wikimedia before it is too late!!!! DISCONNECT!!!

EPISODE I - A NEW VANDAL
The year is 2027 A.D...www2.crappiestwebsiteintheinternet.unknowndomain...The Rebels are hiding in there, making there final hopes of victory over the Internet Empire, the Wikimedian Empire. Old guy: I am afraid that it would not take long for this website to be found and annhilated. And I am sure that this message board would be dead soon. Young kid: Don't think that way, Master. Old guy: Ah, but it does not matter. I am old. I have seen many terrible things. I was once an editor in Wikipedia...back when it was still a Republic. Young kid: Well...maybe you can-- Officer: Master Old Guy! We have terrible news!!! Old guy: What is it Officer with 3 apostrophes around it? Officer: Our spyware satellites have found out that the Wikipedian Empire has constructed a very powerful weapon, capable of deleting an entire 95 gigabyte website in a matter of seconds! It'll be coming here! To wipe us out! Old guy: Well then, we must fight back to survive, no? Officer: We can discuss this at the meeting being held this very moment! Come! Commander: This weapon is known as the Death Tsar. The Death Tsar is a massive 650 Megabytes in size. It is fully shielded and undeleteable. It is a .php file, capable of wiping out 95 gigabytes in a few momentary seconds! It would be coming here to wipe us out any time. Thankfully, we have found one weakspot. There is a fatal security flaw, a hole in the firewall that leads right into the servers. All we need to do is fire in a 5 megabyte virus torpedo into it, and the Death Tsar would be deleted. Unfortunately, this hole is less than a kilobyte in size. We will be sending in Xwings X-Vandals and Y-Vandals to attempt to hit this hole. All vandal pilots are to get into combat positions now! Old guy: Good sir, we only have around 30 people with the ability and know-how to do this! This operation would truly end in a massacre, is there any other way? Commander: I am afraid not Master Old Guy. It's our only hope. ---Cyberspace, approaching the Death Tsar Red Leader: Approaching the Death Tsar at 54mbps. Outpost: All wings report in. Red Leader: Red Wing reporting in. Blue Leader: Blue Wing reporting in. Gold Leader: Gold Squadron reporting in. Red Leader: Lock Vandal Foils into attack position.