User:Tomandmitch2010

TomandMitch

Tom and Mitch are fictional figments of American History; they are experts in their respective fields which they scholastically excelled in. They collectively produce and publish stories that are not known to the common layman.

Tom was born and raised on a small island off the coast of Nantucket, he grew up fishing Cod. He earned a Ph. D. from the prestigious University of Phoenix in Leisure Studies. He commons Russian Bath houses and is well known to smoke imported cigars. He currently resides in Upstate New York with a beautiful common law partner. He has seventeen bastard children spread through-out the greater Boston area. The arduous task of College life and maintaining a full-time job as a sheep shearer, he was forced to make ends meet by making several thousand donations to local sperm banks. Tom has been published in the past and is mostly well known for contributions to T.V guide and controversial letters to the editor of The National Enquirer. One of his most recent letters included a story of Belgium bats that live under the fat flabs of kirstie alley while she sleeps on a bed of shrimp scampi and linguini. Tom spends his free time surfing the internet forums looking for his long lost brother.

Mitch who legally dropped his last name to hide his Noriega heritage was born in a Louisianan swap. He was raised by his half Blackfoot half Hungarian mother that was earlier excelled to the swamp following a scandal that implemented the prime minister of Bahrain in the 1971 clover honey cover up. Mitch was introduced into society after being captured and mistaken for missing experimental half human half leopard chimera type creature that escaped from the Catahoula Genetic testing lab. Extensive testing proved Mitch to be fully human and being of age was released to form a life for himself. Through government grants Mitch was able to attend a local college where he excelled in the field of nocturnal emissions research. He later founded the Association for Superficial Studies of Wetdreams Involving Prostate Epilepsies (A.S.S.W.I.P.E.) Mitch met his wife Drucilla at film festival in Belfast and married after a brief courtship led to an unintended pregnancy. Drucilla gave birth to the only documented quintuple conjoined twins who were all connected by the third toe. The delivery doctor described the birth was like "playing the game Barrel of Monkeys". Mitch and his progeny now live in the outskirts of eastern Idaho in small canyon accessible only by hot air balloon.

The Two greatest phyllisophical minds known to man had a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet each other. unbeknownst to them Drucilla had arranged for this epic meeting months in advance after reading one of Tom's editorials in "Jungle Animals Take Over the World in 2064". After contacting Tom, Drucilla informed him that Mitch and him had 2 things in common. A infinite love for bed bugs and a rare appetite for brazilian toe monkey eggs.