User:Tomcat510/Small Equation

Summary
The Small Equation, discovered by Bob Small in the year 1492, shows that size is directly proportional to the amount of cuteness something has. The equation also takes into account that curiousity and annoyance also add to the cuteness.

$$ (100 - \text{Height}) \times 2 + (\text{Annoyance} \times 0.5) + (\text{curiosity} \times 1.2) = \text{Cuteness} \quad (\text{in grams}) $$

which can be abbreviated to:

$$ 2(100 - h) + 0.5a + 1.2c = C $$

Example
Suppose something is 13 inches tall and annoys people at a rate of 12 pokes per hour. According to the Small Equation, they would have approximately 180 grams of cuteness. Using the equation above it would be:

$$((100-13)\times 2)+(12\times 0.5)+(0\times 1.2)=C$$

$$174+6+0=C$$

$$180=C$$

"Something" has 180 grams of cuteness.

Volatility of Pure Cuteness
Cuteness has never been available in its pure form because we have discovered through recent testing on baby squirrels and feline Japanese cartoon characters that pure cuteness may create a black hole. It has been shown through extensive research on the subject that when an object has equal to 63.125 grams of cuteness per inch of height, it has reached its "critical mass" on cuteness and may implode on itself and thus create a "mini black hole," which dissipates after a few microseconds. If pure cuteness was ever extracted from a very cute source, it may, in fact, create a real black hole and suck the entire earth, if not the entire solar system, into its mouth.