User:TommyLax/Rock Against Sexism/SophL09 Peer Review

General info
TommyLax
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:Rock Against Sexism
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: I feel like your intro paragraph is great. However, your first sentence is a bit of a run on sentence which makes it a little difficult to follow. I would just clean it up a bit. Also can you add some notable names, bands, or locations in your lead that we'll see further in your article?

Content: I think all the content you've covered is well thought through. However, you could absolutely add some more. Also, I think embedded links really help these articles and if you want to add more that would be super helpful to readers! I do think that you would have to expand your article there is a lot more about RAR than RAS.

Organization: You could use some different sections and headings. For example one that highlights a brief history and description of RAR and then one for RAS. Also, I would just read over everything once because I think some bits can either be tightened up or cleaned out a bit to help it become a little more concise.

Images and Media: Some images and references to some of the bands involved would be great. That would absolutely help expand your article. Additionally, this is an article that probably has a heavy media presence so finding images, audio, and videos would not be overly difficult and it would really help develop a clear look of what RAS is.

Overall, I really enjoyed this. I really think you just need to clean up your article a bit and expand it whether that be through some more text information, or adding images or links to bands involved!