User:Tommyoconnor16/Jackie savitz/Kdiss002 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Tommyoconnor16)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tommyoconnor16/Jackie_savitz?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The article starts off a little weak with little information. after the first section, the information starts to enlarge. the first 2 sections are exact relation to the topic. they become important to the story of this woman's life. When it comes to the content of the article its at a good stage. adding the background information of the company the woman worked for is a great touch to add depth. the article is going great. just the one line information in the Savit's Work with ocean is a bit jarring. also there's a repeat of information in this section, the same line is written twice "Savitz also leads Oceana’s new international campaign to reduce the amount of single-use plastic being produced at the source." but with a different source on them. Try to blend this information to make it a bit easier to read