User:Tordosch/Major Emil Adam/Grasyn Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Tordosch)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Tordosch/sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Lead
The information you included is good, but the lead needs a good introductory sentence to describe Adam and what he is famous for. The information you put about his family could also be put into a specific section about his family life, and in the lead paragraph, you can say something like "Major Adam had 5 children with his wife, Mary Hill Adam", so it is a bit more concise.

Content
You have a lot of good information in your article, and I don't think there's any information that doesn't belong.

Tone and Balance
The tone of your article is very neutral, which is good.

Organization
I like the information you have, but your sentences are a little choppy. Try adding transition words to make the paragraphs more cohesive and a little easier to read. Your grammar overall seems fine, though.

Images and Media
Make sure you credit your photo to where you got it from, and maybe take a screenshot directly from the website since the image is a little hard to see.

Overall
I think your article is headed in the right direction. It's just going to come down to editing and formatting to make sure it is easy to read and organized well. Good job so far!