User:Traderjo/Zaër/IslandersIslanders Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Traderjo


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Traderjo/Zaër


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Zaër
 * Zaër

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what f

Lead: I liked what you did to the lead, you give a really good summary of the 4 Ws. The one thing I would add is a little part about how they were affected by colonization. You also might want to add a bit about the general tribal structure and the other main headers of the article. Other than adding a little more information that you in depth in later, I think this is a strong lead.

Content: I think that your topic is interesting and definitely deserves more attention. I think all the content and sections that you have here are relevant to the topic. The only thing I’m curious about is how they are today and what they are doing now. It sounds like they have virtually gone extinct so maybe go into more detail about that.

Tone and Balance: The tone of this article is really balanced and doesn’t take a clear side and sticks to the facts. Even when talking about the French’s poor treatment (understatement) of the Zaër, you still keep it objective and tell strictly the facts. Well done.

Sources and References: I’m going to preface what I say next with this, I know it’s probably extremely hard to find sources for this kind of thing. You rely heavily on William H Lewis who wrote his stuff in 1960. Again, I imagine it’s hard to find sources about this but I really would try to find somewhat modern sources about the topic. As for the sources you did include they were easy to find and look up. The thing that holds your article back is the lack of a diversity of viewpoints from a strictly content level and from a modern perspective. I would maybe try to look for Zaër mentioned in the newspaper databases.

Organization: The article genuinely flows together and does a good job of not just throwing walls of text at you. The one section that might need a little break is the Colonization section but that’s kind of nitpicking by me. I think that you do a good job being concise and explaining foreign concepts, at least to me, very well and putting them in layman’s terms.

Images and Media: Your draft has zero images (as does the actual article) but I would try to add atleast one. I think you definitely should put one of the general area of where the Zaër were/are located on a map of Morocco/Mauritania. Another picture that would be a bonus would be an example of what someone of this tribe would look like IE. Traditional clothing. Again I understand this tribe is relatively obscure but I feel like a picture such as this would go a long way.

I think that you completely reworked this article into a great account of this tribe and their social conventions. Not only did you simply add more information but you added IMPORTANT information that actually gives readers a good understand of this group of people. You also give a succinct history of how they were attacked in the modern world. I think where this article could be improved is maybe providing a more succinct history of the tribe, although this might be hard as they are nomadic. Another thing I would strive for is more diversity of sources and try to find more information from different sources. Again I think you did an awesome job fixing this article and any more information you find would make it even stronger.

-Sayre