User:TransporterMan/Sandbox/6

What does it mean to discuss in a collaborative way? It does not mean to not disagree or to just let the other person's point of view prevail. It means to work together and to respect one another's ideas and give them due consideration. To get you thinking in the right way let me suggest a thought experiment:

Pretend that the dispute that you're having with the other editor here at Wikipedia has to be resolved under that set of rules. With that pressure, how would you go about coming to a mutual agreement with the other user?

The answer basically turns on the question, "Why?"
 * Why is your opponent's idea not as good as yours? Do your reasons for feeling that way make objective sense? If so, why can't you explain that to your opponent?
 * Why is your idea better than your opponent's? Do your reasons for feeling that way make objective sense? If you so, why can't you explain that to your opponent?"

You have to convince your opponent that you're right and he's wrong, at least in part. What do you think will do that? Calling him names or telling him he's biased probably isn't going to do that. Just saying, "my idea is just better" or "I just like my idea more" isn't going to work, either, unless you can say why your idea is better or why you like it more or, conversely, why you think your opponent's idea is worse or why you like it less. (Most good arguments will do both, "I like my idea better because X and I like your idea less because Y.")

There are, of course, some "why's" which are not worth very much in terms of convincing your opponent. "I'm a member of the Blue Clan and you're a member of the Purple Clan and members of the Purple Clan are morons whose opinions are worthless," is indeed a "why" but it's not very likely to convince your opponent that he should compromise, even if you can present a good argument to prove that members of the Purple clan are, indeed, morons. If that's all you've got to defend your ideas, then you better say goodbye to your kid. Another couple which give that same result are, "you don't deserve to win because your Purple Clan massacred thousands of the members of my Blue Clan 20 years ago" or "you Purple Clan people are just biased and prejudiced against the ideas of my Blue Clan." If those are your best arguments, there's going to be more room at your dinner table when you go home tonight.