User:TravisNewell/Lonesome Dove Series/Allyrun Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

TravisNewell


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:TravisNewell/Lonesome Dove Series
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Lonesome Dove series

Evaluate the drafted changes
Travis,

The descriptions you wrote of the first and second books are very informative, and they would give the reader just a basic overview of each book (I think your intention), which is a great idea! I agree that the Lonesome Dove series Wikipedia page would be enhanced by these short summaries of each book, I hope you get a chance to write summaries for the other two books as well, just for completeness' sake, but what you have will definitely add body to the article while also sparking interest. It gives just enough information to make it possible for someone to decide if they would like the series or not. In the second book description it might be helpful to say who Joey Garza is, so you know why Call is going after him.

The sources you listed are definitely good ones for enhancing your article page. The Supersummary page on Lonesome Dove and LA Times article about Streets of Laredo seem to be the sources that most contributed to your draft, but the citations are missing, so make sure you add those where they would make the most sense. Maybe end of paragraphs? As a side note: I liked your idea about adding a little bit about Larry McMurtry and his feelings about writing the series. Maybe you will get a chance to do that.

There are two sentences I thought might read more easily if reworded. One is, “Here they would set up a ranch and live there.” Maybe change “here” to “where” or something like that. The other is the last sentence of the second paragraph, “...and thus concluding the Lonesome Dove series.” Maybe take out the “and” or change to “and this concludes...” Also check about using the abbreviation “info” instead of “information” in that first paragraph.

I like that you added a picture of the Milk River, and it looks like it's properly attributed. For anyone planning to read the books it gives a good visual to think about while reading, so great idea there!