User:TreaBunny/Blandina/Olivia Jameson Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

TreaBunny


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:TreaBunny/Blandina


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Blandina

Evaluate the drafted changes
The information presented in the lead is quite concise, so you may consider expanding it to walk the reader through the article's major sections as part of your revisions. All of the content added is relevant to the topic and it does focus on one of Wikipedia's equity gaps (the subject is a biblical woman).

The addition of a significance section helped me to understand the impact of her biblical role which I appreciated. I know we are still in the early stages of revisions, so as you continue, it may be beneficial to add a quote from your sources on Blandina and motherhood in the significance section so that the information can be attributed to a concrete passage/source. It was very helpful to link the 4 Maccabees article in this new section as well to provide the reader with easy access to further information. Your grammatical revisions to the preexisting passages were helpful and accurate. The article feels more complete overall-- with the addition of quotes in the significance section, it would give even more depth to its level of completion. Additionally, you could consider adding more information to the original article's section on her legacy and provide more context on the feast as well as the communes (the communes may not need too much context since it does link to an article about them, but it would be helpful to have a bit of context before visiting that article).

Your bibliography has great academic sources that are relevant to the topic. It's great that you used an annotated bibliography format for your separate bibliography page-- I should do the same to keep track of what each source is being used for.

Your article revisions are helpful to me in my own writing because I never considered the option of adding a new section to the article in order to expand on a specific point of research!