User:Tremlak/sandbox

RESPONSE STYLES

Non- Empathic EVALUATIVE RESPONSE An evaluative response conveys a judgement about someone’s behavior. This response style assumes the person has not reached a high enough standard of evaluation in their behavior and passes judgement on that. An example of this is when someone wants to break up with their significant other, but your evaluative response is that they haven’t been dating long enough. This passes judgement on the other person and their behavior without letting them know or attempting to walk in their shoes. Additionally, the culture of the communication environment changes the use of the evaluative response. In individualistic and low PD cultures, the evaluative response is encouraged and promoted. The cultures, which are competitive and focus on success, see individuals attempt to bring down their opponent, even when they are friends. This makes the evaluative response the least effective in regarding to empathic listening-- it focuses on judging the person’s behavior, and not their feelings.

B. ADVISING RESPONSE The advising response gives advice to the person-- even if it was unwanted. Like the evaluative response, it lacks empathy as it implies a corrective, suggestive, or moralizing attitude. It is commonly used when a person has a problem, such as a struggle to write a paper. Instead of understanding their feelings and frustrations and allowing them to vent, the advising response tells them what they should be doing, thus disregarding their feelings. The response, while may come from a beneficial reason, can backfire and cause more harm than good. The response can cause trouble in a relationship as the person may not want the advice. It can also cause trouble as it gives the impression of a hierarchy in the relationship, with the advice giver above the other. This response is typically found in masculine cultures and is typically used by men as masculine cultures focus less on emotions.

C. INTERPRETING RESPONSE The interpreting response is a response style that results in us giving our interpretation of someone’s behavior and why they acted a certain way. This response style can be positive. It can lead someone to a realization about themselves or someone else and why they act a certain way. This is the only real positive of the interpreting response. The number one problem is the interpretation could be incorrect. This response could lead to an incorrect interpretation as someone relegates the behavior to the speaker, but since the speaker wasn’t there, their interpretation can’t be absolute. This incorrect interpretation can severely damage relationships. It can also damage the relationship between the speaker and who they are communicating with. The speaker tends to talk down to the other person and can be placed in a superior position, which isn’t healthy for their relationship. Furthermore, only those with experience, knowledge, and training should interpret behavior, such as a psychiatrist. D. CONTENT ONLY RESPONSE A content only response is especially flawed as it ignores all feelings and only focuses on the literal message that is communicated. The content only response indubitably rejects all aspects of empathic listening. There is no perspective taking, emotional understanding, or concern for others as content only responses doesn’t understand the emotions-- just the words. Instead of reassuring people, content only responses stoke their fear and concern. This makes it the polar opposite of empathic listening. II. Empathic E. Probing Response A probing response is an attempt to garner further information through questions. This demonstrates concern and interest for the problems at hand, establishing those who use this response style as an attentive and sensitive communicator. These probing questions are intended to assist the listener with their understanding of another individual’s conflict, not create/sharpen an argument. Three of the most common probing question types are clarifying, exploratory, and encouraging. Clarifying questions allow the listener to explicitly address where their empathy lacks. Exploratory questions prompt solutions to a problem that is being faced and how to implement any needed changes. Encouraging questions demonstrate the listener’s sympathy for the problem being faced, and simultaneously question the decisions previously made and agree. F. Supporting Response The intent of a supporting response is to provide empathetic care from the listener. There are five ways to implement this response style: ·     Reassurance – In an event where a speaker demonstrates uncertainty and doubt, whether in their own self or some external being, it is helpful to attempt to minimize their instability with the situation at hand with an optimistic, encouraging message. ·     Agreement – Similarly to the reassurance response, when a speaker presents a question, a doubt, or an idea that’s demonstrates their opinion on a particular subject, it is helpful, when objectively genuine, to affirm their perception. ·     Praise – Making a speaker feel good about the message they have conveyed makes them feel supported in their decisions, and reduces the self-doubt associated with those decisions. ·     Assistance – Demonstrating a willingness to be there for another person can encourage them to make more concrete choices, unbothered by the stress of whether or not the task itself is realistic. ·     Validation – This is the most direct demonstration of empathy from the listener. Providing this form of response supports the decisions/actions of others by sympathizing with their reasoning. This is very similar to the agreement style seen above. G. Understanding Response The purpose of the understanding response is for the listener to validate their perception of the speaker’s message. This is done to check accuracy, and eliminates the possibility of perceptual distortion. Perception checking, the process of describing, interpreting, and verifying a behavior for accuracy, ties in heavily with this response style. Paraphrasing is used significantly as well here, as it is the shortest means by which one can demonstrate understanding of an action and what message the speaker was trying to convey.

Choosing Competent Response Styles: There are three factors that influence the effectiveness and appropriateness of evaluating, advising, interpreting, and content-only responses.

Frequency Frequency is how often a listener uses disconfirming responses. When person occasionally responds in a non-empathic manner, especially in strong relationships, problems will rarely arise. However, overly frequent use can weaken even the most trusting relationships. Timing Timing refers to at what moments in a conversation a responder uses non-empathic responses. Using disconfirming statements early in a relationship, when two parties hardly know each other, will likely be received negatively. However, as relationships develop and the trust is formed, the responses can be received in a neutral, even positive ways. It is important to be aware of when the listener is feeling fragile and is simply in need of support; non-empathic listening, in this case, can make the person feel inferior and diminished. Solicitation Solicitation refers to whether the listener is explicitly asked to evaluate, interpret, advise or concentrate on the content, rather than the feelings, of the speaker. Solicitation is essential because it reflects the mood of the conversation. For example, a person may simply want to be listened to, not told what to do. Therefore, unsolicited advice can be rejected or resented, creating a strain in the relationship.