User:Trinchicanwrit/Celeste De Luna/KylePasco Peer Review

General info
Trinchicanwrit & Ariannadeluna03
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:Celeste De Luna
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * I think your lead lead does a great job of introducing who she is and what she does.

Content


 * I think you have a good variety of content, one suggestion for improvement would be to include one or two more sentences about each of Art pieces. I was left without a full understanding of what the “BorderLand X-scapes Series” was all about and how it went about accomplishing it's goals. The last thing I would improve your phrasing on the last sentence from the “Necrocitizen” section. I am unsure what you mean by stating "Luna’s exploration of oppressive structures on brown bodies who are second-class citizens" and would change the wording on the last part "brown bodies who are second-class citizens". Your use of "who" there reads like you are defining brown bodies as that.

Tone and Balance


 * Your tone is very neutral and I can't see any improvements you could make with it!

Organization


 * Your organization was very clear, and your content followed that organization well.

Overall impressions


 * Overall I thought you guys did a great job on this article, I hope these suggestions help you in some way.

Additional Questions


 * Good luck with this project and finals!

-Kyle