User:Trollny/Afro-Asians/!777francis777! Peer Review

General info
Trollny
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Trollny/Afro-Asians?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
The grammar mistakes in the first two sentences make it very hard to read and understand. The grammar improves later on, but the flow, or overall idea that the author is trying to convey, is very loose. I'm not sure what this section is supposed to be. It seems to list off a bunch of topics that the author wants to bring up, but they are only brought up and not expanded on. However, I will say that the author does a good job in remaining neutral as they just present facts about the topic that they choose to cover. One thing I would say is that this seems to be focused on just one kind of Afro-Asians, and, considering how many different Asian countries there are, this might not be an accurate representation of all Afro-Asians. Another thing the author does well is that they made sure to use reliable sources that are not involved in the topic. These sources simply provide facts about the topic without a hidden motive.