User:Tsang Karl/Ketone Halogenation/Sach548 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tsang Karl


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Tsang Karl/Ketone Halogenation


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ketone halogenation

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Based on the original article, I would consider improving the structure of the images. I think the "Acidic (in acetic acid):" and "Basic (in aqueous NaOH):" titles look awkward above the mechanisms, and it might look better to have them as captions and refer to the figures within the body of the article. I see you have a note about fixing the mechanism in the article. Consider numbering the steps and referring to these in your description of the mechanism. Although the mechanism is not overly complicated, it would link the written portion to the image nicely and also make it more clear what exactly you're referring to in the written section.

The "process" section doesn't contain many citations. Do these all belong to citation 1? Consider finding a textbook that officially describes the mechanism to support what you've written. I see you have a note about needing to properly format citations, so my apologies if this is one of those sections that you still need to format citations for. I noticed that much of the green chemistry section needs citations too, but I'm presuming you're still needing to format those citations as well.

It would be nice to see how the information in your sandbox will be laid out with the article's original contents. I'm not sure if this is your attempt at completely rewritting the article (I see some things that that are in the original article in your sandbox as well), or if you'll be including some of the original information. Consider moving that information into your sandbox to work on the overall layout of the article if that's what you're doing.

Overall, I think you've done a great job in your sandbox! Consider going over some of the grammatical suggestions below. My main critique is I think it would be helpful to number the mechanism since you're dedicating a whole section to explaining each step. This would make those steps more clear for the reader. Also, make sure everything is properly cited before this is published (although I'm sure you will do that!). Consider making a short lead section. This would make the article look a bit neater. Right now, the original article looks like a big chunk of text. The sections in your sandbox will help, but a short introduction might be beneficial for those skimming past the article.

Grammar issues/suggestions for grammar from your sandbox:


 * "Following this, the enol acts as a nucleophilic source to allow for the addition of an halogen to the alpha position."
 * "Typically, for acidic conditions halogenation for Ketones stops after one addition." changes to "Typically for acidic conditions, halogenation of ketones stops after one addition." for better flow
 * "Afterwards, the enolate will add to the halogen and displace the other halogen anion similar to Sn2 like mechanism." becomes "Afterwards, the enolate adds to the halogen and displaces the other halogen anion similar to Sn2 like mechanism". The "Sn2 like mechanism" should be adjusted because it sounds a bit funny. I know what you're getting at, but not sure if I would refer to it like this.
 * I"n situ, this trihalogenated ketone is susceptible to nucleophilic attack from hydroxide ions, which is called the haloform reaction, and results in the formation of carboxylate ions." to "In situ, this trihalogenated ketone is susceptible to nucleophilic attack from hydroxide ions, which is called the haloform reaction, and forms carboxylate ions." for clarity
 * "This can be isolated as an carboxylic acid upon workup."
 * Under "applications of green chemistry" section, make sure all citations are entered after the period.
 * " An alternative to the hazardous chemicals that are primarily used is looked into by Meshram et al. and it was found that room temperature ionic liquids." is incomplete at the end.
 * Consider combining these for simplicity. "An experiment conducted by Meshram et al. in 2005 investigated making ketone halogenation a green reaction. An alternative to the hazardous chemicals that are primarily used is looked into by Meshram et al. and it was found that room temperature ionic liquids." I don't think it's necessary to say "An alternative to the hazardous chemicals that are primarily used is looked into by Meshram et al." because that's implied by them trying to make it a green reaction
 * Consider simplifying for clarity: "Through many experiments, it was found that ionic liquids with N-halosuccinimides as the solvent were a very effective alternative and had the bonus of utilizing the principles of green chemistry." to "Many experiments found that ionic liquids with N-halosuccinimides as the solvent were a very effective alternative and also used the principles of green chemistry."
 * Simple edit of "By using an CuO in junction with I 2 it is possible to achieve this reaction with relatively mild conditions." to "By using a CuO what? in junction with I 2, it is possible to achieve this reaction with relatively mild conditions." What is the CuO acting as? Make that clear in this sentence.
 * Simple edit of "However, the effectiveness of this reactions depends on the presence of aryl functional groups." to "However, the effectiveness of this reaction depends on the presence of aryl functional groups."