User:Tsweeney617/American Dream/Audkal Peer Review

General info:

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Taylor's


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Tsweeney617/American Dream


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * American Dream

{| class="wikitable" Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects:
 * Peer review
 * Peer review

Lead
Guiding questions:

(The Lead has not been edited, and/or does not appear in the sandbox draft)


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?

Content
Guiding questions:

Overall, yes. In the section about masculinity, I think it would be helpful to make an explicit statement about why/how gender pertains to the American Dream. I think this is most needed in that section, but could be useful to make sure all the sections have a few words about how the section’s ideas connect to the American Dream. Or you could put this in an intro. Yes Citations of two sources (which are in the article just not formally cited) need to be added, though this is sort of a detail, and could be done near the end if not last. Yes--sandbox draft mentions African Americans in the "Attitudes About the American Dream" section.
 * Is the content added relevant to the topic?
 * Is the content added up-to-date?
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics?

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:

The article has too much generalized wording without citations, which can make it seem appear biased. For instance, the sentence “A lot of people still believe in the American Dream and all that it said to offer.” This sentence (and these kinds of sentences) need to be backed up with citations. However, adding all the necessary citations might add up to a whole lot of work--more than necessary! So maybe you could instead choose a few sections from the ones you’ve written and choose to improve those (by adding citations) and maybe not continue with the other ones. No I think that if you keep the “Masculinity in the Household” section, you should add something about femininity in the household as well, to sort of balance this out. However, that could end up being a lot of work, so perhaps it makes sense to shorten the “Masculinity” section, or remove it? Not sure, depends on what you want your workload to look like. No
 * Is the content added neutral?
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?

Sources and References
Guiding questions:

In your section “Attitudes about the American Dream,” I think the attitudes you state need to have references/sources attached to them. I think either journalistic articles or even interviews would more than suffice. Seemingly. However, more citations are needed throughout the piece (see other comments about generalizations). Yes Yes More sources are needed when generalizing statements are made. I think you should try to add sources by historically marginalized individuals if you choose to add sources in those places. I think so. Bringing in a journalistic news article or two would help, I believe. Yes
 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.)
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
 * Are the sources current?
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible?
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.)
 * Check a few links. Do they work?

Organization
Guiding questions:

Yes No Yes and no. I think it would be helpful to continue with a few of the sections you have added and make them stronger, as opposed to continuing with all of them and having them be less strong.
 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:

From above: "I think it would be helpful to continue with a few of the sections you have added and make them stronger, as opposed toectio continuing with all of them and having them be less strong. " The added sections definitely need to be added to the article. However, ti might be a better use of your time to add fewer, stronger sections. But overall you have thought out some great ways to improve the article. (see above two comments about fewer, stronger sections)
 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
 * What are the strengths of the content added?
 * How can the content added be improved?

Additional questions (from Canvas):
Yes Yes Definitely, especially the sections about masculinity and the home. I think these sections should be prioritized in the remaining weeks of the class. Yes I think that a sentence or two that would connect each section to the overall concept of the American Dream would go a long way. For instance, why is gender relevant? This may seem like stating the obvious, but I think it would be very helpful to someone who isn't as knowledgeable about the American Dream.
 * Does your peer have 5-7 reliable sources?
 * Is at least one of them a source from class reading or the "suggested sources" list? If not, can you think of anything we've read that might be useful for them?
 * Does the topic link in some way to our course material?
 * Does your peer add historical context to their article?
 * Based on what you know from course content, what do you think Wikipedia users should know about this topic? In other words, what would you recommend adding and/or considering further?

Also, I think it could be a good use of the remaining time to focus on the “American Dream Home” section. If you had sources that are applicable (such as “Home ownership and the American Dream book”) then I think you could cite them there directly, and end up with a strong section.
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