User:Tubbsofsteel/Alex Rif/Sarahgolfet Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? (provide username)
 * Kira: Alex Rif
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Tubbsofsteel/Alex Rif

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * no
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * no
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic?
 * yes
 * Is the content added up-to-date?
 * yes
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
 * more research should be done, inorder to really understand the poet properly.

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral?
 * partially, with more formal grammar it will appear more neutral and fact based.
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * "because she wanted to fit in, this is evident as she was bullied" state that she has a traumatic past with bullying which reflects her works like "ex. abc"
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * involvement in organizations is underrepresented and her work's reflection of her, as well as her schooling has no recorded dates as to when she attended.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?
 * it attempts to persuade but could be more cut and dry, with facts to back up the claims.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
 * more secondary info should be added, would be helpful and make the article look more like a legitimate biography.
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
 * one does, a Hebrew piece.
 * Are the sources current?
 * yes
 * Check a few links. Do they work?
 * yes

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
 * should work on a more formal, structure with more direct and concise easy to read statements.
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
 * grammatically wording could be improved, to be more clear.
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?
 * the sections given are good starts, but should be expanded and more focused on detail, not claims like "this is evident because she was bullied".

Images and Media
Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media


 * Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
 * no.
 * Are images well-captioned?
 * Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
 * Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

For New Articles Only
If the draft you're reviewing is a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.


 * Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
 * Yes, there is 4 sources supplied.
 * How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
 * The resources could go deeper and could try to grasp more primary resources.
 * Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
 * Info boxes that would be helpful to include could be her martial life, where she is now, career, and hobbies if possible. maybe even a section on awards and recognition of how people and critiques review her work.
 * Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?
 * the article should be linked to Russian literature websites that mention her name.

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
 * What are the strengths of the content added?
 * How can the content added be improved?

Overall evaluation
Good start, with a good amount of content. Try and formalize your writing structure a bit more, maybe try and refer to Alex as Rif, as to not lose the attention of the read with "she". Statement's like " this was the only thing she could do to fit in; this was evident in that she was bullied for being Russian-Israeli. " could be reworded into shorter and more simple phrases that are easier for the reader to grasp and skim in a quicker amount of time like "Much of Rif's poetry reflects her attempt to fit into (wherever she lived at the moment ), as she was racially profiled and bullied for her Russian- Israeli heritage."

Try not to tell a story, but focus on facts about her life. It would be good to focus on her extracurricular involvements in the organizations you mentioned, maybe she gave speeches or was a person of honour, or sponsors/ supports events by these organizations, these would be good things to touch upon. As well as go a bit more in depth as to her position in the organization not just that she's involved in it. Try and use the fact that she is a woman to your extent as much as possible, because her name sounds very masculine so as a reader I was surprised to find out she was a woman, and think you should stress her importance and influence as a feminine role model.

I enjoyed your article, I think once you add more information and go a bit more into detail and focus a bit more precisely on specific facts about her, and remember to try and make short, easy to read, and statements, your article will be a wonderful reflection of Rif's contributions to poetic literature as a Russian-Israelian woman.