User:Tuliptooley/Colorado tick fever/Eierscj6816 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tuliptooley


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tuliptooley/Colorado_tick_fever?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Colorado tick fever

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Your draft provides new information about CTF, which was necessary since the original did not contain much information at all. The first sentence should be more specific, like what year is that data from or is that all of the cases that have ever been reported? The second sentence needs commas after 2003 and 2013, but you could also reword the sentence so it flows better. Also try to find other groups of people who are at a greater risk for CTF than others or underrepresented populations, and what other variables can contribute to their risk of contracting it. You did a good job retrieving more recent resources, which is helpful when researching about a disease. You did well maintaining a neutral tone as well as avoiding bias throughout your draft. However, try not to copy exactly what is in the articles and paraphrase the author's words into your own words better. Overall, you did a good job adding some useful information into the article, but it was a bit short and needs more detail on the disease.