User:TwoBeansInACan/Franc Fernandez/Gsmith144 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:TwoBeansInACan


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:TwoBeansInACan/Franc Fernandez


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Franc Fernandez

Evaluate the drafted changes
I thought you did a great job of adding relevant details in places where they not only make sense but also really enhance the reader's understanding of the topic (for example, where he went to school). Also, I noticed that you added citations in places where there were none and replaced some links that didn't work, which is really good. The tone seems neutral and everything is well written.

Here are things I think can be improved:


 * One thing I noticed that I think you can improve is the information about Ignacio "Nacho" Nava. I think the paragraph is relevant and should be in the article, but the sentence at the end about Fernandez having to correct Nava's English is irrelevant. Also, I think on Wikipedia it's standard to refer to someone by their last name even if they go by a nickname or mononym. I'm not completely sure, though.
 * The Career section is pretty well laid out and the chronological order makes sense. I think you could paraphrase more rather than using quotations in your sentences to make it flow better. For example, the second sentence in the paragraph about Nicola Formichetti could be better integrated into your writing and less of a direct quote.
 * I also noticed there's not a lead section, but that might just be where you're at in your writing right now.

Overall, I think your additions greatly enhance the article and are in line with Wikipedia's guidelines and principles as they've been presented to us in the course.