User:Tygodin17/Pepsodent/Tamashi2314 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * Tygodin17


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Tygodin17/Pepsodent/Tamashi2314 Peer Revie
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Pepsodent
 * Pepsodent

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead- The Lead has not been added to reflect the new content but includes information that concisely describe the article topic as well as the major sections.

Content- The Content is relevant to the topic and up-to-date. Perhaps there could be more detail into the race issues in advertising, that fact just seems to be thrown in there but is missing from the main article. The article could be a huge contribution to the main article if there was some detail on racial differences in advertising. With that, the article can contribute to underrepresented populations.

The "Why Do We Need Toothpaste?" section is not complete. The quote has no explanation and does not explain why toothpaste was needed.

The Advertising section could be elaborated on a little more and an example of advertisements could be added. The racial issues with in this section could have its own sub-section as could dental hygiene education. Adding sub-sections will make your work clearer and organized.

Organization- The article could be broken down into sub-sections to make it easier to read and could use more detail. Grammar and spelling is okay.

Images and Media- Article lack images and media, especially for the advertising sections or even a few pictures of the product.

Citations and sources- Sources are significantly more reliable than that of the original article.

Overall Impression- With some work, sub-headings and images you could really produce a wonderful addition to the Pepsodent article. What you have is not enough but could fill in some serious gaps with the right amount of work.