User:Tystrehlow/Fish Wars/Jlpaulsen22 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Tystrehlow, Wlynch87: Fish Wars


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tystrehlow/Fish_Wars?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Fish Wars

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)


 * 1) On the bibliography, I think you can shorten the part of the source in the original bullet points and eliminate the numbers before them. It should all go below so it only needs to be brief.
 * 2) Your sources look good.
 * 3) I'm not sure if you need the bibliography in your actual article. I don't see that as a theme in many other articles online if you just look at the publicly viewed ones. Although you might have just put it there for your own reference in the sandbox, idk.
 * 4) I think you should put quotes around "Frank's Landing" in the first part of the sandbox. Didn't add it in case you disagree, I don't know whether that's a legit place or not I just assumed it was.
 * 5) I am publishing small grammar errors y'all have. Only in the sandbox mode.
 * 6) I think the small paragraph you have added that starts with "In the 1940-50s" is very intelligently placed and adds quality value to the article. However, there is no source.
 * 7) I don't think I can see or access any of the sources you guys have in here. Maybe that's a problem on my end but there are just random numbers where I assume you want sources and I can't do anything with 'em.
 * 8) I like the ending paragraph you have under the history section. Was the other one deleted that started with 1957? I thought the original article it did provide some value in that it showed the state was allowed to make decisions regarding the fishing and hunting of natives. Especially because your sandbox seems to transition from that paragraph, but there is nothing there.
 * 9) So I think I see the paragraph you guys have got placed in there. You need a date for when it happens. I think the transition is smooth and what you have works well into the paragraph, but I don't know when it happened. It is also important since there is a 6-year gap between the other 2 paragraphs. You could maybe try to add more hyperlinks in there. Honestly, I think the paragraph is good. Neutral, and well-rounded, it fits into the rest of the article, and it does add good insight into the thoughts of the state at the time. I feel obliged to give a suggestion that you can take if you want, which would be to explain the impact this statement had on the demonstrations. Did it alter the media and civilian perception? Did it alter the actions of the Indians, or get the federal government involved?
 * 10) Solid article