User:U1012256/Yui Aragaki/BeeHiatt Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Edward C
 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * User:U1012256/Yui Aragaki
 * Yui Aragaki

I'm reviewing kind of both of these pages. I agree with what Edward said, but I think that it covers the commercials later in the article. Updating any of the information would be a great idea.

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?

Lead evaluation
Lead seems to be alright. I don't know if it needed to bring up her hobbies right at the beginning. Also the "female celebrity face on the Oricon's yearly survey for several times." portion could be written better. Could perhapds provide a better outline of what was to come in the article.

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic?
 * Is the content added up-to-date?
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?

Content evaluation
The content in this article includes a lot of dates. It seems like it would be a good idea to check the dates and as Edward said update any films or commercials that occurred recently. I also feel that the article should have more information than it currently has displayed. She seems like a pretty well known figure in Japan. I feel like adding a little to different sections of the article wouldn't be that hard (but I don't know about sources).

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral?
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?

Tone and balance evaluation
Article seems pretty neutral overall. No bias from what I could tell.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
 * Are the sources current?
 * Check a few links. Do they work?

Sources and references evaluation
A lot of the links for the commercial just link to the companies wiki page. Maybe you could include links to the clips of the actual commercials or links to photos of her modeling. Calander and photo books don't seem to have links. Of the random links I clicked on, they all seemed to work.

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?

Organization evaluation
" Outside acting she also released her first album, Sora, and the single "Heavenly Days", a song from Koizora. "Memories", the theme song for Tokyo Serendipity, was included in her debut album. She also performed at Budokan.

She was also the co-hosts for popular radio program Girls Locks in 2010-2012. She also invited as a host of 54th Japan Record Awards.

2012-2013, She acted with Masato Sakai in comedy hit Legal High.

2014, she tried the role of mother for her first time in film Twilight Sasarasaya.

2016, she acted an ideal wife in The Full-Time Wife Escapist, raised a social topic in Japan. She also performed in "koi dance" as ending of the drama, become a viral in Japan. She was invited as a judge again in 67th NHK Kōhaku Uta Gassen."

parts of the article seem to be in a bullet point type of organization. I don't know if thats bad, but maybe you could work on adding on these points and construct them into some detailed paragraphs. You may also decide that some of these points are even that influential/important in her career.

Images and Media
Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media


 * Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
 * Are images well-captioned?
 * Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
 * Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

Images and media evaluation
Lacks photos. Actually there is only one. Perhaps some pictures of her modeling or film career would be appropriate.

For New Articles Only
If the draft you're reviewing is a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.


 * Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
 * How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
 * Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
 * Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
 * What are the strengths of the content added?
 * How can the content added be improved?

Overall evaluation
Cool article. I think that you'd be able to find some good sources for adding information considering her status in Japan. I think the article just needs a little more content in some of the earlier sections and considering the amount of films, commercials, appearances she probably has it wouldn't be a bad idea to see if you could update those lists. Finally some photos also would help. I think it would be a good idea to use photos that showed the different places in which she appears (films, commercials, shows, etc.). Overall I feel like you have some good stuff to go off of and some places where it wouldn't be too difficult to improve. Good luck!

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