User:Umiuottawa/English as a second or foreign language/Sultanmoe Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Umiuottawa


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Umiuottawa/English_as_a_second_or_foreign_language?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * English as a second or foreign language

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

The author has changed the lead to reflect the new content, technology. Great introduction, concise and clear. The author also made bullets to describe the some of the article’s major points. It seems like much of the article has been cut out but kept the most important sections that will help support the lead topic.

Content

The content is great, the author added all the relevant content to the topic.

Organized the content into bullet points. Each point tackles its topic with details. The article does not deal with one of the Wikipedia’s equity gaps or address historically underrepresented populations.

Tone and Balance

The content was very neutral, the article was a written in a formative way, not in a persuasive manner. Great read to gain knowledge about the topic.

Sources

The author only had one source, it was reliable and UpToDate and does reflect the literature on the topic. The source is legit.

Organization.

Overall it was organized into 5 major bullet points.

Overall, the author took out much of the original article work and placed what they thought to the most beneficial to their topic. I think the author should try expanding and reorganizing the content. Add media if possible.