User:Unclebenny 713/Kazuma Kaneko/CowboyThor1712 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

UncleBenny713


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Unclebenny%20713/Kazuma_Kaneko?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kazuma Kaneko

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lindsey: While not extremely drastic, the changes you've made have definitely helped make the paragraph flow better. It's simple enough, and it's not too different from what was already there, but it still definitely gets the point across. I think you should try add ad more about his childhood, and how he got into the gaming industry. You could also add a section about the different games he's worked on, and how he invokes his own style into his creations. I think you're also really good at keeping it in a neutral tone, and not really trying to emphasize super specific things. Overall, I think it just needs to have some more detailed stuff, just to add some more material to the article.