User:Undream

Rebecca Kasner is a mysteriously archetypal enchanted storybook witch-princess. She was born in Vilna, Lithuania in 1803, but she may not remember that because shortly thereafter, she was whisked away in a butter-churn by an old lady with iron teeth whose bones and skin and hair were all made of candy.

She was taken to a remote village in The Harz Mountains below The Brocken, where she learned the archaic arts of crithomancy (divination using cakes), belomancy (divination by arrows), lampadomancy (divination by a lamp), phyllorhodomancy (divination with rose leaves), and knife-throwing. She excelled at all of the above, and also became incredibly proficient at weaving offal into gold, transforming glass into water and remembering unspoken agreements.

Armed with this arcane knowledge, she struck out on her own and travelled the world in a rusty sieve, working as a part-time celestial spy and full-time in abecedarian espionage. She was enormously successful in these endeavors. She is also married to reknowned artist Stephen Kasner and makes lovely dolls.

Currently, all other details regarding this wondrous personage are classified- due to pending investigations regarding the unexplainable events surrounding the disappearance of the leaning tower of Pisa, and various accounts of uneasy moments of déjà vu occurring in her vicinity. Rest assured, however, that wherever she is — Rebecca has got her eye on you, and knows what time your future is.

Most recently, Rebecca has been credited with editing her husbands new book, Stephen Kasner WORKS: 1993 - 2006.