User:Uwjmcc/sandbox

Article Evaluation
Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women:

Last Updated: September 21, 2018

I think the organization of the article could be improved.- it is organized well but the way it is written is hard to follow, it is written in Radom lists and too many sources.

I don't think any other information can be added, except for whenever the current information becomes out of date. (but it has been recently updated by multiple people)

Authors have a good use of pictures/ graphs when needed. All of the text is summarized and explained very well. I think in section 5 it could use a bit more rewording so it is a bit more easy to follow the information that is being said.

The viewpoints are very neutral, they are talking about what the convention is and the history; no bias.

All of the links work, and I like how when you hover over a linked word you can see what it means/ context of it without having to exit the article to the definition.

In the talk page, a lot of updating is being done. People are putting in their opinions and conversing about what would best benefit the article whether that be the information, to the pictures, to the sources. Everyone is being respectful of what others inputs and opinions are.

Second Wave Feminism Article Evaluation
Second-wave feminism

Is the content relevant?

The content is relevant to the topic of second wave feminism. I like how it describes the history in the United States, as well as over seas (I think that would be really cool to learn more about it). I also enjoy that they look at all of the different influences in the feminism culture like music.

Is it under developed/over developed?

I think the overview of US and over seas is a bit under developed, however the rest of the article is very well stated with credible information.

Written neutrally?

Does each claim have a citation?

Everything that needs a citation has one.

Are the citations reliable?

From the citations I have looked over, they seem to all be credible.

What can I contribute?

I think I can contribute more to the overviews of the US and overseas sections, they lack a little more information. and I believe by building that up the article will be pushed to the next level.

My credible source:

Pre-baby women's attitudes and responses to second wave feminism in Ireland

Kiely, E., & Leanne, M. (2014). Pre-baby boom women's attitudes and responses to second wave feminism in Ireland. Women's Studies International Forum, 44, 172-183

Add To An Article Assignment
1) A lot of attention is put on feminism in America, however feminism; second wave feminism in particular has had a big impact on women in places like Ireland and they get barely any knowledge of their struggles and their journey of women empowerment.

2) In the study done by Elizabeth Kiely and Máire Leane they focus on women who hit early youth by mid 1920's- 1950's.

(these sentences do not go together, they are random sentences that I think will help start the development in the Overview of Overseas section) (using source from last assignment)

First Draft
My assigned article is Second-wave Feminism


 * I plan to add the following to the article section Overview outside the United States
 * I am doing so, in order to bring more history and information to this section

Feminism in the USA, Australia, and UK have a lot of similar history behind them. However, when looking at other foreign areas like Ireland and other international context, little has been paid to how the second-wave was perceived and experienced by women. Looking at second-wave feminism in places outside of the United States, like Chile; we discover that even considering different cultures and backgrounds, these women are still fighting for the overall same causes. Second-wave feminism in Chile started in 1973. Activism for women became more prominent from previous years because of the dictatorship of General Pinochet. "...the movement was extremely diverse, composed of middle-class and professional feminists, poor and working-class female activists in the shantytowns, and women primarily motivated to activism by the “disappearance” of their husbands and/or children, the movement ultimately displayed considerable unity of purpose ."

Peer Review
Original Article:

National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women

Peer Draft:

"In response to the event, many Canadians have worked hard to establish memorial sites all across the country, to ensure that people will become more aware of the incident that occurred, to force society in recognizing how often violence occurs towards women, and to appreciate the lives of the women who were killed. Activists of feminism and violence against women have shown concern about using the massacre to stand for violence against woman more broadly[1]. The details of the event may over-shadow the deeper meaning of the day. The day is aimed for examination of power dynamics between men and woman. The news took the ascribed perspective of the killer having mental problems. This effectively dismissed feminist analyses stating the killer went to this extent to proclaim his anti-feminist opinion[2]."


 * 1) Rosenberg, Sharon (1998). "Reflections on demoralizing December 6". ProQuest.
 * 2) Blais, Melissa (Autumn 2009). "Masculinism and the Massacre at Ècole Polytechnique de Montrèal". Rain and Thunder. 44: 28–34.

My Review of Draft:


 * 1) Does the draft draw conclusions or try to convince the reader to accept one particular point of view? the draft does not convince the readers into one point of view.
 * 2) Are there any words or phrases that don't feel neutral? The parts don't feel neutral, because I don't know the context in which you want to place this? Where in the article is this going?
 * 3) Does the draft make claims on behalf of unnamed groups or people? Yes. I would include your sources by name, instead of just putting them at the bottom of the page. So it is easier to spot that it isn't your own claim, rather someone else's.
 * 4) Does the draft focus too much on negative or positive information? The first draft doesn't focus on much, it is very vague. It can easily be fixed by adding more detail about the actual event they are talking about.
 * 5) Are there any unsourced statements in the draft, or statements that you can't find stated in the references? From what I can tell, everything is sourced that needs to be sourced. I think it would benefit this writer to add more sources and detail.

Final Article
Feminism in the USA, Australia, and UK have a lot of similar history behind them. However, when looking at other foreign areas like Ireland and other international context, little has been paid to how the second-wave was perceived and experienced by women. In Kiely Elizabeth and Leane Maire's findings two women in the micro-cohort came to feminism at different points in their lives, through similar but diverse life experiences. Factors such as interest and exposure, spaces and places occupied. This is the case for many women. Living different lives while having similar experiences with the only differences coming from race, class, and sexuality. Looking at second-wave feminism in places outside of the United States, like Chile; we discover that even considering different cultures and backgrounds, these women are still fighting for the overall same causes. Second-wave feminism in Chile started in 1973. Activism for women became more prominent from previous years because of the dictatorship of General Pinochet. "...the movement was extremely diverse, composed of middle-class and professional feminists, poor and working-class female activists in the shantytowns, and women primarily motivated to activism by the “disappearance” of their husbands and/or children, the movement ultimately displayed considerable unity of purpose ."

In Greece, the resistance from the Second World War to the Colonels dictatorship brought the rise of the women's movement known as second-wave feminism. "The women's movement at this historical juncture was unprecedented in its political and generational heterogeneity and, as a result, increasingly divided over issues of purpose, strategy, and identity ." Although women were separated because they believed they weren't fighting for the same things. They joined other groups who fought for those individual causes, which would eventually lead to everyone's voices and concerns to be in the media. Although women felt as if they had many different "issues", the main thing they were fighting for was equality. Around the world, progress has been made, but women still have a long way to go before they have complete equality compared to men and other women of all races, classes, and other intersectionalities.