User:Valentinapicante/Ley Trans/JovialCarrot Peer Review

General info
Valentinapicante
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Valentinapicante/Ley_Trans&diff=prev&oldid=1180656454
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
I don't think the lead has been updated. I think it's currently clear and a good summary of the law, but could use a sentence or more about impact if you're planning to increase that portion of the article. Additionally, I think the "other LGBT rights" line is vague and should either be cut or more detailed. It could also use a sentence about the opposition mentioned later/just that there is opposition, since you cover it later and the lead is supposed to be a summary.

The content section obviously needs a lot more material. Since the article goes into so much detail about what the law includes, I think you need a section about law content. I think the Impact and Status sections could be separated, where one talks about continued opposition/updates to the law and the other talks about cultural impact, as planned.

I like the plan to add the sections about government planning, but I don't think there needs to be so many subheadings here. I think law development could all be under one heading.

I think the public response is what needs the most work here. If there were protests or anything around the law, that could also be a good opportunity to include images.

Existing sections read extremely clearly and sound professional without being wordy.

It seems like more sources are really needed, but I'm not sure if there are ones linked to the new writing that I just can't see because it's in the sandbox.

Response:

Thank you for your suggestions about adding supporting reactions as well as the opposition reaction to keep the article more neutral. Additionally, I will be sure to add sources as suggested to substantiate the impact section. Separating impact and status is also a good idea.