User:Valeriebarajas/Esta Noche (gay bar)/Lindsey2478 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Valeriebarajas


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Valeriebarajas/Esta Noche (gay bar)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Esta Noche (gay bar)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: It doesn't look like you've added anything yet to the lead. The one thing I would suggest is to include the closing year in the lead, as I think this would be helpful and something that people might come to the page specifically to look for.

Content: I think the content seems great so far. I think both topics that you've introduced, the discrimination the bar faced and the bar's handling of the AIDS crisis, seem like valuable topics to bring to wikipedia that relate to historically underrepresented histories.

Tone and Balance: I think most of what you say seems pretty neutral. The one thing that I would think about is the subtitle "Contribution to the AIDS Crisis". I think this leaves the impression that the bar contributed to causing the AIDS crisis, which I don't think is the point you are making. I would say something more like "Response to the AIDS Crisis".

Sources: I think the source that you have included so far is a good one. It is from a historically LGBTQ newspaper, which is a view point that can be underrepresented. I think it would be nice if you could include a few more sources to back up the claims that you make in your assertions.

Organization: I think the organization makes sense if you include more subheadings after the one on the AIDS crisis in order to have a parallel structure.

Images: I'm not sure if the woman in the first picture on the page is relevant to the history of the bar. If she is, it might be nice for there to be more information on her somewhere. If she's not, it might make sense to include a picture of the bar's founders instead.

Overall: Yes, I think you have added to the article in an effective way. I'm looking forward to seeing what more you add.