User:Vebrown/Mid-South Pride/The.Jeremiah02 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Vebrown


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Mid-South Pride


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead section accurately summarizes the article without diving into much detail. However, your transition into the article is choppy as it goes from one aspect of the event to another. May I suggest possibly adding the last sentence in the lead paragraph to the event portion of the article and even putting events then board members. Overall, the lead section states just enough about the article. Regarding content, I noticed that the last edit was made February 11th. Are the rest of your edits in you sandbox? However, I did notice the corrections and edits you did made to the headings and grammar. The content there is accurate and if anything this is a topic that brings an underrepresented group of people to light filling in an equity gap. However, I noticed that none of the sentences of cited and at the bottom of the page, the only source page is one for the Mid-South Pride website and the InterPride website. If those are the only two sources, I would suggest adding a couple more just to add more depth to the article and have sources to back up every sentence types. The tone of the article is fairly neutral. There are a few sentences where you could see a hint of biased like in the event portion where it states "Mid-South Pride doesn't just put on a festival any more". Since the sentence if after the sentence stating that the growth of the event, this could be seen as a reinforcement of your personal connection to the event. But besides that, the article is very informative. Images of the event would be nice as it would give the article a little more life to it. Overall, the article is really good and even though the sources weren't there, I think the information there is backed up by sources and it definitely informs the reader on the short history and big impact of the event. There are a number of grammatical errors throughout the article that could simply be fixed by reviewing before the final is due. But besides that, the article is in good shape. More sources would be good and a couple of pictures would added some color to the vibrant event for the reader to witness.