User:Vedisobe/Cultural identity/Grackle.cackle Peer Review

General info
Vedisobe
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Vedisobe/Cultural identity
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Cultural identity

Lead
I liked your lead paragraph, it checked out to me in terms of content. I wasn't sure how you're intending the work in your sandbox to relate to the lead content that's currently in your article, but I imagine you have a plan.

Content
It looks like you have a bunch of important missing content you're adding to the body of the article. It looks like you have a good array of historical work in that regard that's currently missing, I'm curious about whether you plan to include more contemporary work on this topic? Maybe there's already some of that in the body of your article. The array of scholars you picked to talk about definitely seem to be relevant to the equity gap convo-- i'm wondering if there's others (maybe less well known scholars, scholars from the global south, etc) that might want to be brought in to your content (genuine question, i don't know the answer!). The future paragraph could use more fleshing out in particular, curious about the alternative perspectives you reference but don't go into.

Tone and Balance
I don't really have any feedback for your about tone and balance, it all looks good to me!

Sources and References
I think my big feedback here is to add more sources in general, both sources from the scholars you referenced and also contemporary sources. I know that a big part of what you're doing is filling in the gaps for the history component of this topic, so it makes sense that you are using a lot of older sources for that. It would probably be good to reference, like, one or two major works for each of the scholars you listed that contribute to the topic of cultural identity.

Organization
obviously, this is still a rough draft, but it seems like you have a good organization system coming together.

Overall impressions
Seems to me like you're on a good track for improving the material in your chosen article, especially re// filling in the gaps about the historical context and development of the topic. I'd mostly encourage you to continue adding references and to fill in more content where there are gaps in what you're adding (again, understanding that this is a draft)