User:Vennegoor~enwiki/The way of the metaphoe

Introduction
The way of the Metaphoe is a set of beliefs that was written down in a book named the Book O' Metaphoe many centuries ago. Many believe that the Book O' Metaphoe was even written before the invention of walls which has significant relevance of which shall be explained later. The book, along with the beliefs of which it was based, were lost in time only to be found by a girl of the age of 15 that went by the name of Hannah Jane Gillborn-Jones (the book was found in the early hours of the 1st of April 2010). According to the set of prophecies preached in the book - Þu ðe gebidan ðy boc ealdnyss ðy ðæt ðanc ætbregdan ðy steall ealdnyss “ðy metod ealdnyss eall þone is hæftmece" - translated as - you who obtains the book o’ metaphoe will take the position of “the creator of all that is metaphorical" - Giving hannah the title of "Hannah - The creator of all things metaphorical".

The Book O' Metaphoe
The Book O' Metaphoe is kept in the most secure place imaginable, the imagination of Hannah - the creator of all that is metaphorical. But on the day of reckoning, the 1st of April 2010, Hannah - the creator of all that is metaphorical (of whom shall now be referred to as God) published the rules, teachings and prophecies that were once encrypted on the Scroll O' Metaphoe. For the thousands of followers and desciples I have taken note of these rules, teachings and prophecies and have published them onto the source of world knowledge - Wikipedia - so that you may all now live the way in which our God wanted us to live.

1) Thou shalt eat Curiously cinnamon once every cycle of the moon.

2a) Thou shalt only build walls if absolutely necessary.

2b) - in exception of rule 2a - if i giant blue tomatoe falls out of the sky you are then, and only then, therefore permitted to use a metaphorical wall to stop yourself from being squished... metaphorically of course. You must all know of this drastic situation of which you are obviouslly likely to be in and therefore permitted to use a metaphorical wall to protect yourself.

3) Thou shalt use a famous metaphor every day - With exception of rule 2b (the only rule to have no exceptions)-

4) Thou must worship Hannah - The creator of all that is metaphorical twice a day.

5a) Hannah - The creator of all that is metaphorical is to be known as "Hannah - the creator" from morning to midday and as "God" from midday to middnight.

5b) - in exception to rule 5a - God must be reffered to as "Hannah - The creator of all that is metaphoical" during worship despite the time of day.

6a) - In addition to rule 4 but not instead of - Thou shalt speak "the creator's prayer" as a form of worship every time a metaphor is used by onesself.

6b) - in exception to rule 6a - "the creator's prayer" does not need to be spoken during rule 3.