User:Vghfr/Essays/Wikipedia is not a barbeque

Contrary to popular belief, Wikipedia is   not   a family gathering. Wikipedia is an encyclopedia, not a place to put a "shrimp on the barbie" (which your 50 year old father says in an attempt to sound cool).

Things you will find on Wikipedia:

 * A free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit
 * ad hoc peer review
 * The five pillars of Wikipedia policy
 * The correct phrase of "put a prawn on the barbie"

Things you will not find on Wikipedia:

 * Uncle Joey's bacon burgers
 * Grandma's cookies that nobody quite knows how she makes them (you stuff them in your pockets anyways)
 * Your auntie's insane, profane ramblings about the 2020 election
 * A turkey fryer that almost killed your drunk dad and his friends
 * The other uncle that owns a smoker
 * Your lung cancer-riddled cousin who can't go 5 seconds without a vape
 * Too much Bud Light
 * The family friend that you're pretty sure nobody actually invited
 * The neurotic neighbour
 * Mom's potato salad that nobody likes but everyone eats anyways cause you don't have the heart to tell her that it sucks
 * The rabbi that someone invited who is constantly glaring at you while you enjoy your pork ribs
 * Low-quality country music blaring through your dad's 30 year old stereo (he swears its better than getting a new one)
 * The police officer who was called over for a domestic violence report but ended up sticking around for dinner
 * Homemade fireworks that blew off little Timmy's ring finger
 * Your other, other uncle that everyone is tired of because of how racist he is
 * Dark witchcraft known as "being able to open the pickle jar"
 * 17 squatted Toyota Tacomas in your front lawn
 * Grandpa sleeping in a rocking chair (he's been here for a couple days, don't worry about him)
 * That asshole cat that only likes your 14th removed cousin
 * That asshole dog that just stole your chili dog
 * A dish made by Satan himself (coleslaw)