User:Vhvanessa/Alaska Natives/Danimorales24 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Vhvanessa)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Vhvanessa/Alaska_Natives?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Alaska Natives

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * The Lead needs to updated because it is missing information that is discussed through the article. The article should be updated with the Russian colonial period and the American Colonialism.

"Some are descendants of the third wave of migration, in which people settled across the northern part of North America. They never migrated to southern areas. For this reason, genetic studies show they are not closely related to native peoples in South America. Alaskan Natives came from Asia." This should be fixed so there isn't as many short sentences. The lead should be looked at again because it is missing some information, but it's a little too long as well.


 * I also noticed that you cited some of the sentences in the lead, I realized that most of the lead wasn't cited on the main article.


 * The first three sentence about the segregated schools needs a bit fixing, just look it over again so the sentence flow a bit nicer. Other than that great information!
 * "There was also segregated schools." change was to were.
 * Keep on citing some of the sentences, because there is quite of few of that need citations.
 * Re-read your sentences because you are missing some punctuations.
 * Spelling error: "Alaska became part of the United Stated in 1959 upon President Dwight D. Eisenhower recognizing Alaska as the 49th state." Changed Stated to States.