User:ViciousJish

Vicious Jish
"Vicious Jish" refers to the final quote by the infamous Clarence G. Dirk, a self proclaimed gamer and Guitar Hero extraordinare. Even at a young age, Dirk, a Brooklyn native, exhibited prodigal talents such as being able to act as a piece of mail. And later, at the age of thirteen, he was successful in not participating in California's Grape Stomping Contest. Dirk states that these talents, "absolutely did not help [him] in the long run, but allowed [him] to become even more of the basement dweller that [he is]". Upon receiving the first Guitar Hero, however, Dirk did everything he had done before, except better. He shrank back from existence and lived off a diet of ginger ale and popcorn. As more and more Guitar Hero games were introduced, Dirk's talent developed into that of a prodigy. The webbing of his fingers were torn apart from the excessive playing of the buttons and his eyes were burned into the back of his already depleted brain. His mother was none too pleased. His neighbors would have rallied around to help him, but they never knew Dirk existed for he never left the house and his family, all except his mother who had to bring him food and change disks for him, forgot about him. One woman volunteered to help. Hired by Dirk's mother, Sally Prey was hired to break Dirk's habit of excessive Guitar Hero. For even his younger brother, Sally Gerard Boris, states, "all you do is play Guitar Hero!". Prey's entrance into Dirk's life is detailed in her memoirs: "I remember it clearly. I could hear 'Feel the Pain', of which he had the highest score, drifting through the door and I knew this was going to be hard (that's what she said). With my Doc Marten boot, I busted down the door and saw him slouching on the couch, his skin grafted into the fabric and his eyes closed. His fingers were still strumming along and pressing the multi colored buttons. Dirk was playing with his eyes closed. Before the pungent stench burned away my brain cells, I tore the plastic guitar from his hands. He instantly woke up. With fury ridden, puppy dog, eyes he stared as I threw the guitar against the floor and began to smash it with my foot. It was tragic." According to police reports, Dirk was unable to stop Prey for his body was attached to the couch and his soilage had hardened to create a cement like substance. Two minutes and forty-eight seconds later, Clarence G. Dirk died of shock. Prey, the only witness, announced that Dirk's final words were: "Long live Vicious Jish". The meaning has yet to be learned.