User:Vindieselsshinyforehead

BONSALL, DERBYSHIRE, GATES OF HELL

AS YOU ENTER, YOU WILL FEEL A WAVE OF HEAT WASH OVER YOU. SALTY TEARS WILL FALL OUT OF YOUR EYES AS YOU SUCCUMB TO THE BONSALL ATMOSPHERE. BY THE TIME YOU GET TO THE BARLEY MOW YOU WILL ALREADY BE A CARRIER OF THE VIRUS AND MAY EXPERIENCE MANY OF THE SYMPTOMS, SUCH AS AN ACHING IN YOUR LEFT BIG TOE, UN UNSETTLING ACHE IN YOUR THUMB AND AN OVERWHELMING DESIRE TO COMMIT THE CRIME OF INCEST. IN ORDER TO SURVIVE IN THE HARSH CLIMATE OF BONSALL YOU MUST BE A CARRIER OF THR VIRUS, HOWEVER ONCE YOU ARE A CARRIER YOU MUST NOT (FOR THE SAFETY OF THE REST OF THE WORLD) LEAVE THE CONFINEMENT OF BONSALL. IF YOU DO, YOU MAY CREATE A RIPPLE EFFECT, WHICH RESULTS IN TRAGEDIES SUCH AS WHATSTANDWELL.

THERE IS NO KNOWN VACCINE FOR BONSALL, DESPITE OUR TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES.

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO THINK BEFORE ENTERING, CONSIDER HOW MUCH YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE, YOUR HAPPINESS, AND IF THIS IS REALLY THE PLACE THAT YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN.