User:Vinie007/1

If some point is finished, it will be removed of the list see THIS

Lead

 * See WP:LEAD for instructions on what should be included in the lead. To sum up the lead should be a summary of the entire article with all points in the body of the text in the lead.  I think the lead could be expanded a bit to fully summarize the article.

Background

 * One sentence paragraphs are frowned upon, I would either expand or combine it with the previous paragraph.
 * This section has no references. Every section should have references, and really every assertion of fact should be referenced.
 * I think this section could be expanded. Where was he born, who were his parents, did he have other family members?  Expand on his early relationship with Sali Berisha?  This obviously was a key connection in early post-Communist Albanian history.  Also this should be an early history section rather than a background.  You will cover the protests, and his assention to the party chairmanship later.  I would rename the section and eliminate the third level heading.  Third level headings should only exist if there is more than one, otherwise just put all the information under the second level heading.

Attacks

 * What was the date of the attack on Hajdari, Minarolli, and Pollo?
 * It's also a one-sentence section. Why were they attacked?  Who attacked them?
 * The order of your account is jumbled. You talk about the shootings and then about Mazreku's sentencing, and then you go back to give more specific details about the shooting.  The account should be given in chronological order.
 * Abbreviations like DP should be given only after spelling out what the abbreviation means first. If it's the Democratic Party then say Democratice Party (DP) so that readers know from then on what DP stands for.
 * Be sure to convert all metric measurements to imperial measurements. See WP:UNIT for more on this.
 * We then move to Hajdari being shot again. What happened to him after he was shot by Mazreku?  We don't know any details.  The writing makes it sound like the poor guy was shot over and over again.  This needs to be clarified.
 * When was he assassinated? Why?
 * Most numbers under ten should be written out rather than given a numerical value. In other words 3 should be three.
 * See WP:LINK you only need to link the first mention of the term. Do not link every time you use the words.  For example Tirana and Democratic Party are linked multiple times.

Political activity

 * See WP:LIST. Lists embedded in articles are discouraged.  Consider transforming these lists into prose.
 * No references here, there needs to be some.

Overall

 * You've made great headway on this article and you should be commended for that. You couldn't get me to try and write about an American politician in Albanian so you should be commended for taking on this work.
 * There are quite a few things that need to be worked on.
 * The writing is rough and should be edited by someone versed in English prose and grammar.
 * As I stated above there's quite a bit of confusion in your details about the assassination, the various attempts on his life, and then the statements by Berisha. Those need to be clarified.
 * The lead should be expanded.
 * Many more references are need to fill in the details and make the article more credible.
 * Be more consistent with your referencing. Use those templates, it will make your life easier.


 * This concludes my review. I hope it was helpful.  Best of luck in your work.  If you have comments or questions please leave them on my talk page as I do not watch review pages.  Thanks.  H1nkles (talk) citius altius fortius 16:27, 2 June 2011 (UTC)