User:Virtualnerd1/sandbox

In the midst of World War 1 1/2

{Reddit (July 12, 1934)}

John, John said his tractors were reliable, John said I’d be a real man if I rode a John Deere, John was wrong. My quarter of a million dollar tractor broke John, my life is over John, and it is because of you. You should be ashamed.

Hello, this is John speaking, I have come across many people of various backgrounds, of different races, ethnicities, genders, and cultures, from different countries all across the world, with different character traits and life experiences, none of which who cared.

John, I don’t think you understand, I can no longer provide food to nourish our planet, no longer provide my family a cardboard box, NO LONGER! Afford scrap metal to eat. You are a demon John, a vile creature corrupted by greed, and agriculture. I am unspeakably regretful of my decision to buy a rig of yours. You disgust me.

I think I understand. I can provide food to nourish our planet, continue to provide your family with a carboard box. I am a saint, a glorious creature incentivized by the free market. You are happily going to do as I say because e P s t E i n d I d n t K i l L h i M s 3 l f

John, I do not believe you are taking my cries of despair with any serious thought, you are not the intended care taker if my family, nor are you one who’s life’s purpose is to nourish this great earth, you are a slave to the free market, blinded by greed, and crippled by ignorance. Your ego will be your biggest downfall John, I will make sure of it. I will have every redditor in a 200 mile radius monitor your every grammatical decision, a Karen in every store you shop in. I will personally see to it that you John, will value your customer satisfaction above your own financial benefit!

''HEY FELLAS, I HEARD Y'ALL WERE DISCUSSING THE BEAUTY OF CARDBOARD BOXES. HI, IT'S JOE STAMOS, AND I'M THE FOUNDER, CEO, COO, OVERLORD, GOD-KING EMPEROR, GREATEST BOSS OF THE MONTH 12 MONTHS RUNNING, AND DADDY OF BOXEZ INCORPORATED. SORRY TO BUTT IN UNINTERRUPTED, BUT IF Y'ALL ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A LACK OF CARDBOARD BOXES, DON'T WORRY. AS A FOLLOWER OF MARXIST STALENINIAN GULAGISM, I WILL GIVE ALL MEMBERS OF MY GULAGS A FREE BOX. THAT'S RIGHT A WHOLE FREE BOX. GET IN HERE SLA-CUSTOMERS.''

I don't know about universal basic boxes, that sounds like it would cost a lot of money. How about you buy some stonks for John Deer Incorporated, where for a limited time only you can keep the child slaves that make your tractors in Bangladesh! Geneva conventions, WHAT'S THAT???!!!!!!!

As a now third eye seeing man, I now see truth! To stop this menace, we must join forces supreme darth Vader overlord of boxes! We must spread this gulagism! Any who struggle under the burden of the free market will be unwillingly scooped up by this “John” and turned into tractors! Only a perfect government can protect us from thine tyranny!

''EXACTLY COMRADE. AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT PROTECTION. OUR DEAD BROTHERS BECOME AUTO-BOXES. THE PERFECTION OF GULAGISM RESULTS IN MAGIC BEING REAL, WHICH IS HOW THROWING THEIR CORPSES INSIDE OF A CARDBOARD BOX RESULTS IN THE CREATION OF A NEW AUTO-BOX. BANGLADESH IS THE ONLY SAFE HAVEN FOR THAT JOHN DEERIST FREE MARKET SCUM, AND SO WE WILL ASSAULT IT BY USING OUR ORBITAL BOX MACHINES.''

I'm sorry commie, but your auto boxes have no place in our country, go back to your mother land and starve some other people to death. In fact, the only way you will EVER have a chance of having influence in this country is if you click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCO7-DLCaA