User:Vixwint/Athenian Democracy/Diegosalazarguerra Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Vixwint


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Vixwint/Athenian Democracy


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Athenian democracy

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey Victoria! I know that you are still working on the article and that you focused your attention on adding some information regarding some topics of your interest. However, I'm still going to make a general feedback of the article, in case you want to consider editing some of the information that other users provided before you started working. Obviously I'll pay especial attention to your edits.

Good luck with your article! :)

Lead:


 * In general terms, I think that it may be useful if the lead tries to answer the 5 Ws (what, when, who, where, why, and maybe how). The information that is presented is good, but I think that the lead may be easier to read and understand if it focus on explaining what is athenian democracy without being too detailed.

Content:


 * Very rich historic content.
 * Your ideas for the remaining edits your planning on doing are interesting and seem to have a theoretical and practical coherence with the text.

Tone and balance:


 * Neutral tone.
 * The criticism section is pretty extensive, maybe you can try to balance the arguments with adding the ideas of other authors and philosopher on why athenian democracy was good and effective.

Sources and References:


 * There are some sentences that seem to make claims and have no reference.
 * Some paragraphs have no reference.
 * The links and works cited seem reliable, given that they come from journals or scientific papers.
 * I had access to the links that I clicked on.

Organization:


 * I didn't found any grammatical mistake (keep in mind that english is my second language and that I may not be the best identifying grammatical mistakes haha).
 * The structure seems to follow a logical and natural order.
 * The ideas you have for your remaining edits will complement and enrich the text.

Images and Media:


 * I didn't understand the relation of some images (such as the water clock) with the text.
 * Other images can provide a better context for the reader.
 * Other images may be more interesting to see.
 * The diagram seems very complete and useful for someone who is studying the topic.