User:Votawh/Sacrifice in Maya culture/Jennyfayfay Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Votawh


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Sacrifice in Maya culture


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sacrifice in Maya culture

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead and general thoughts
I think the lead is too short for the article. A lead should be a quick summary of the topic and article for the reader, and I think while the lead is concise, in this case it needs a bit more detail about the sections this article will talk about. Try comming up with a topic sentence for each section and then pasting those same ones into the lead. I also think a map showing how far the reign of the Maya expanded would be helpful. Maybe one even showing the different archaeological sites that are mentioned in this article. I also think that working on rewording the sentences with quotations should be a good focus throughout the article.

Content
Crisis and Sacrifice: I think its a good introduction to the article. It gives good background information on what is being said about the topic in different fields. This part though is still somewhat vague and could use much detail and citations. The entire last paragraph is in need of citations and I think a good case study talking about the remains of the victims could be used to add good detail to this part. I think this part also needs to be renamed since there is not much about content about a "crisis."

Sacrifices in calendar and everyday rituals: I think this is the most detailed portion of the entire article. Much of the language is alright, but there are some places where the wording could be edited down and simplified. On example is right at the first paragraph "which involved animal sacrifices and all of which seem to have involved blood letting." I think you could also consider separating this section into sub-units as well since it is so long. Maybe do it cronologically, or by theme of different types of sacrifice. I also think that it would be interesting to add a section as to how sacrificing changed when the Spanish arrive, did they use the new animals that were brought in? Did the mass spread of disease affect the way they saw the act of sacrificing?

Origins, Meaning, and Social Funciton: I think either more detail needs to be added to this section by combining things in the previous section with this one. The origins piece can go right after the lead section in the article, followed by the description of specific types of sacrifice, and then followed by the social meaning of sacrifice.

I think these part also needs citations of case studies attatched to them:

"The blood could also be collected from the non-elite, often from the foreskins of youths, or from high-ranking women."

"De Landa provides the most comprehensive account of calendar festivals and rituals (chapters 34-40), but in none of these regular events is human sacrifice mentioned, which must mean his Maya informants were unaware of any instances since the cleric would hardly have suppressed such information"

"There are two natural sinkholes, or cenotes, at the site of the city, which would have provided a plentiful supply of potable water"

"Capturing prisoners after a successful battle also provided victims for sacrifice, presumably to propitiate whatever deity had promised victory in the first place, although there is no record of the Maya initiating conflicts solely for this purpose as was apparently the case with the Aztecs. "

I know these are lots of ideas but the good news is you have lots to work with! It seems like a very good article to edit and improve. Good luck and please let me know if you have any questions or clarifications.