User:Vulpestooth/Dinosaur reproduction/A.twohig Peer Review

General info
(Vulpestooth)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Vulpestooth/Dinosaur reproduction :
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Dinosaur reproduction

Evaluate the drafted changes
Nice work! I really like the detail given to parental care and nest building. The original article seems to focus a lot on bones and eggshells, which doesn't tell the reader much about actual reproductive behavior. I think the organization is really good and I like the distinct separation of different topics/headers-- something I'm struggling with in my own article! It's easy to follow your train of thought and the flow of information. I wonder if you could collect some of your current headings as sub-headings below one larger topic, like having nest building under parental care. I also really like the pictures you added, and the use of multiple different dinosaur examples to depict different points you make in your article. Is there a way you could organize these by herbivore/carnivore or maybe by time period (Jurassic, Cretaceous, etc.) to show any similarities or differences? Admittedly I don't really know much about dinosaurs, so this may or may not be helpful to you.

Some nit-picky things:

Intro paragraph:
"...it is likely that most dinosaurs were capable of surviving on their own after hatching. Although, some parental care has been shown by fossil evidence for some species of dinosaurs." '''I think these sentences could be combined somehow. The last sentence reads a little funky to me.'''

"Dinosaur reproduction would have also required a mate; evidence of of sexual dimorphism and displays have been found through fossil evidence." '''Avoiding passive phrasing makes you sound more confident! The second half of the sentence is also unfinished, so I think adding a semicolon after "mate" would help here. Also, displays of what? I assume courting displays-- add that in! It doesn't hurt to give a brief explanation before diving deeper later on.'''

Dinosaur mating displays:
"Research and modern day birds suggest that dinosaurs had a variety of ways of a acquiring mates, ranging from sexual dimorphism to dancing." '''The phrase that I underlined is a little wordy-- could be changed to something like "had various methods of acquiring mates". Also, in the second part of the sentence, you could explain a little more in-depth, like: "ranging from biological traits such as sexual dimorphism, to mating displays such as dancing." I think it helps bridge the gap between biology and behavior.'''

You should include a subheader here about sexual dimorphism, since you discuss wings/plumage, horns, plates, etc.!

"Some dinosaurs, like Ornithomimids, had feathered arms resembling wings, but they were much too big (large? heavy? what does big mean here?) to fly. These wings had the potential to be part of were potentially used in mating displays, like some birds ' plumage does  is today."

"Older studies also suggest that dinosaurs like the Lambeosaurus, (remove comma) may have used their specialized hollow horn structures to create vocalizations specific to mating. These specialized hollow horns could also  may have been brightly colored as to distinguish males from females of the same species." Did the males or females have the specialized horns?

"Stegosaurus fossils have been observed to have potential sexual dimorphism in the shape of their back plates, with males having rounder and wider back plates while female's have taller more diamond shaped back plates. These plates could may have displayed colors and been a sign of health in males . W hile female's plates acted more for as defense, like a cow's horns." '''The first sentence gives explicit evidence of sexual dimorphism, so I would remove "potential". The wording could also be rearranged, such as: "Stegosaurus fossils have also shown evidence of sexual dimorphism, with males having..." Also, the last two sentences should be one sentence-- the last sentence about female plates reads as incomplete.'''

'''Additional subheader about mating behavior. It would be a good idea to add more information here if you can find a source!'''

"Large scrapes in the sandstone of Colorado (is there a specific location you could site?) may suggests that dinosaurs may have danced in order to impress a potential mate (comma), like a behavior seen in their ancestors (I think "successor" would be better here since (as far as I'm aware), birds evolved from dinosaurs, not the other way around), birds. The scrapings in the sandstone were interpreted to be evidence of mating displays areas or courtship sights (insert comma) as there was no evidence of eggs (include "in the area" to explain exactly where there was no evidence of eggs)."

Parental care:
Your first sentence is golden!

"One fossil of the Pisttacosaurus sp. ( remember to italicize scientific names!) shows 34 thirty-four juveniles of similar size buried along with an adult, or a potential presumed care-taker. The bone development of the juveniles suggest ed (suggests) a slow growth rate (comma) and the overall amount of young found together indicates there was some degree of post-hatching growth that was dependent on extensive parental care."

"An assemblage of juveniles of Protoceratops andrewsi Protoceratops andrewsi juveniles were found of similar size and age (comma) suggesting that they were from the same nest. These dinosaurs were found without the presence of egg shells in an oval-shaped nest (comma) meaning that these animals grew together after hatching (comma) potentially with some parental care."

Nest building:
Your first sentence is golden here, too!

"Mound-nesting, as seen in todays modern archosaurs, were built-up nests that were a built up mound made of mostly plant materials or soil. Eggs were then laid in the mound and covered to incubate through means of organic heat sources (comma) like decomposition of the plant material. These mound nests would allow the eggs to incubate without needing to be sat on and rotated."

"In the case of the larger dinosaurs (comma) like sauropods (comma) that were too big to sit on their eggs to provide warmth, mound nesting would have been the only option." I might reword this to start the sentence off with mount-nesting: "Mound-nesting was the only option for larger dinosaurs, like sauropods, that were unable to sit on their eggs to provide warmth.

" Eggs The eggs of hadrosaurs have been associated with fine-grain pedogenic sediments (comma) where their eggs were left to incubate via microbial respiration. Other dinosaurs may have incubated their eggs using their body heat and feathers (comma) like oviraptors and troodontids which have been documented sitting over their eggs . They built in semi-open nests that were at least partly exposed during incubation. Early dinosaur eggs also lacked color, suggesting that the eggs did not need to blend in with the environment to avoid predation (comma) as they were hidden in mounds while incubation occurred."

This section was really interesting! Again, I super appreciate examples of different dinosaurs and their methods of egg incubation.

I hope that helps a little bit! I had a little too much time on my hands and I love editing. Best of luck with the rest of your article and please reach out if you want any additional input! :-)

- Amy