User:Vvinziant/Cyberpsychology/Shivamp1999 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Vvinziant


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Vvinziant/Cyberpsychology?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Cyberpsychology

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hey Vvinziant,

There are couple of things that I would add to your sandbox to build your article.


 * The beginning sentence that you start with is redundant by repeating the word, "article." I would probably take the articles and just say "Cyberpsychology is the topic about..."
 * It also seems like you are reviewing the article which is a good thing.
 * Wherever you notice the neutral tone, try to look at your references and see if you could add to that tone as well.
 * You noticed that it needed a couple of citations in the article. I would try to ask in the talk page if it okay to add those citations.
 * I also noticed that you had a few more references in your bibliography. I would try to incorporate those as well.
 * One of your references on your bibliography, you mentioned that it was a fact that you could bring in. I would try to tie in that fact somewhere in the article and copy that paragraph from the Cyberpsychology article into your sandbox and add the fact to the paragraph. Make sure you italicize or underline what you add so it is easily noticeable.
 * As Dr. Rahn mentioned as well, I would try to copy and paste part of the article that you will be trying to add too so it would be easier to incorporate information from your references.

Good luck!

~ Shivam Patel June 16th, 2022 4:18:11