User:WWWWFWF/New Economic Policy/Jcw379 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

WWWWFWF's


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:WWWWFWF/New Economic Policy

New Economic Policy
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Peer Review
A section on religion is the only thing in the sandbox, and should be placed among the rest of the article. I assume the section would be placed under policies, but cannot be sure where you intend to put it.

Tone and grammar used should be edited to better fit informative Wikipedia standards. The first section has an argumentative/interpretive tone, something that should be avoided entirely, and especially within the first few sentences of the page. Grammatical errors and funky wording also present.

The sentence "During the famine in 1921-1922, many people in the Soviet Union needed to be fed" should be altered due to redundancy.

The sentence "Some sources claimed that the leader of the Orthodox was arrested during this time" should be backed up with citation(s). The resources cited are strong, however.

The "Sergii's declaration of loyalty toward the Soviet Union somehow granted the Orthodoxy a limited "right of citizenship" in the Soviet Union but also pushed more believers underground, making the split between the two parts of the Orthodox more profound." as a conclusion to the section should also be built upon.

In general, I would suggest looking at the tone, wording and organization used by the current NEP page and edit your draft accordingly. The goal should be a consistent informative tone throughout the entire page including the section on religion. Hope these suggestions help.