User:WWWWFWF/New Economic Policy/Jzdollar Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

WWWWFWF


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Editing User:WWWWFWF/New Economic Policy - Wikipedia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * New Economic Policy - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

My first criticism is that the grammar and the wording of some of the sentences are poor and need revision. It's important to streamline and be concise. For example, I will revise the first block to give an idea of what im talking about

The Soviet Government remained hostile to religion due to their commitment to state atheism. Though Lenin and the Bolsheviks aimed to eliminate religion, Orthodoxy and other religions in continued to be practiced regardless. Outright dismantling religion was impractical and dangerous as it could've triggered another civil war.

Another criticism is that when you write a wikipedia article, you need to adopt the proper tone. Words like "Therefore" are inappropriate; that's something you would use in an argumentative paper.

Ill sound like an asshole saying this, but it would serve you to make this more professional.